Meagan Rigney

My journey into meditation (and why you should try it, too!)

Anyone that is committed to personal development has heard of the benefits of meditation. But if you are like me, that scares you. Mostly because I have tried to “quiet my mind” and tried to “find this inner peace” everyone talks about, but my mind wanders. And then I get angry with it. And then I am frustrated that I can’t do it. #fail

Enter the Calm App. I read about it HERE and I was so intrigued. You mean I can download an app that will tell me HOW to meditate and make it easy? Sign me up! So I download it (obviously), and I have used it three times so far.

Here’s the deal. The point of meditation and midfullness is NOT to shut off your brain, but to redirect it. That was kind of mind blowing to me. I though that my runaway thoughts were indicative of a failure on my part, but that is just not true. It just takes practice and it is a learned thing (like anything else in life.) Go figure.

ANYWAY, there are many, MANY options once you open the app. You can do 7 day programs (I’m currently doing Focus and Self Confidence, you can do ones for Sleep, and you can do your own timed thing.) The options are really endless. I started the other night with a Sleep program. You click on it and it plays some relaxing music, and then it guides you through some breathing stuff. Now, I MAY have been tired, but I went into a trance and woke up a bit later wondering what happened. So that was a win.

Fast forward to the next morning. I came home from Crossfit and decided to lay on the floor of my bedroom on my accuppessure mat and did a Focus session. I started on day 1 and got comfortable. Basically it teaches you that is OKAY for your mind to wander, you just have to bring it back. Over and over. Towards the end I felt a rush of calm wash over me. It was intense and felt so, so good. So good, in fact, that when the session ended I did another one and I felt the SAME THING. It’s kind of addicting.

The rest of the day I felt more relaxed and at peace. I can’t really explain it. I am looking forward to doing this daily and seeing how it affects me each time. So far, though, I love it and cannot recommend it enough. Meditation/Mindfullness for the WIN, you guys.

Tell me…do you meditate? How does it make you feel? 

 

The gamechanger to-do list trick you have to try

Like many of you, I am a HUGE planner and to do list addict. (See this post on how I use my planner(s!) I purchase a new, fancy planner each year, and writing down what I need to do each day is a must. Yet I often write stuff down and don’t get to finish it, which makes me feel like a failure a lot. I see the stuff I didn’t do more than the stuff I did do.

Total downer.

Recently I heard a game changer plan that I have been working on, and it is LIFE CHANGING. (Not dramatic, lol.) Instead of writing down what I have to do in the morning, I wrote down what I did do at night. This switches my routine from an early morning one, to a nightly reminder of what I got done. And I am often surprised! I’ve written before about what a stay at home mom/writer does each day, and it can seem a little mundane and not important when seen from a to do list perspective. Yet when I look back on my day I know I did a ton.

Like the other day, for instance. I woke up at 5:30 and listened to a podcast and did my grateful list and goal work. I got the kids fed and off to school. I went to Crossfit and worked on improving my strength goals. I wrote this blog post. I recorded some content for Insta stories. I posted in my shampoo group online and strategize some posts for the future. I reconnected with my best friend on the phone after a week of phone tag. I took photos for my social media posts. I picked up my car from the dealer. I bought some groceries for dinner. Then I got the kids off the bus and did homework/dinner/bedtime stuff. And finished the day with some meditation.  I have specific goals that I work on each day and try to hit the big ones in all areas. Seen from a to do list viewpoint, it can seem silly or “not enough”, but from an overall goal view? I’m killing it.

I love how this simple switch in routine completely energizes me to work on the things I need to do without feeling like I didn’t get things done.

Tell me, do you run on to-do lists? How you think changing your planner routine could energize your life? 

P.S. I do keep a master list for the week of items I need to do (call doc, set up appointments, things to remember, etc), and then I fit it in when I can. I am amazed at how much less pressure I feel to conquer the LIST each day, because there isn’t one;)

 

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On building self confidence

This past weekend my nine-year old daughter had a soccer game. At one point, she broke away with the ball and dribbled it past countless opponents and almost scored. What stopped her? She was going the wrong way and almost scored in her team’s own goal. We were shouting, “wrong goal”, but she didn’t hear us until right before she got there.

I watched her, on the edge of my seat on the bleachers. I knew. I knew that she would be so upset with herself and she’d possibly fall apart. I saw her face crumple and tears threaten, and it crushed me. Her coach ran out and pepped talked her, as did the ref and another one of her teammates. I yelled out from the stands countless times, “it’s okay, just keep going!” And she did. With tears on her cheeks and clenched fists, she stayed in. I knew she wanted to run off the field and cry. I could read her body language. I saw that her face was all scrunched up and she was fighting it all back. It broke my heart, but I was also so very proud of her. She fought through the embarrassment and didn’t give up. That takes guts! Especially when you are nine and it is easy to be embarrassed and feel like the world is judging you.

That morning I had listened to a podcast on self confidence. (I SWEAR stuff comes to us when we need it most…) I ended up taking some notes (because note taking and highlighting favorite things is the way to my heart), and one thing I wrote was this.

“Self confidence is about believing in your ability to learn, take action, fail or not fail, and to learn. Self confidence is knowing that there is nothing that can happen that you can’t handle. Self confidence is knowing that you can fail and figure stuff out.”

I know how important to me that both of my kids have a healthy amount of self-confidence. But how? How do we instill this? I can tell them they are wonderful a million times over, but they must have that inside them. Yet the game this past weekend taught my daughter more than I could ever say to her. It taught her that she can handle embarrassment and power through. That she can handle failure, and keep going. That she can keep going no matter what the odds are, and she will be better for it. 

The more my children fail and keep trying, they will learn something about themselves. To have a growth mindset, where mistakes and failures are seen as necessary to life. The more they know this deep inside, the more confident that will be in their own self-worth.

To always pick themselves back up again, dust themselves off with tears in their eyes and fists clenched, and get back into the game…this what I wish for them.

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The most worn item in my closet

Slip; Jeans; Shoes

I’ve spoken about my love of this lace slip from Free People before, but I had to add to it! I’ve owned this white version above and another in black for about 2+ years now, and they are just as good as they were when I bought them. They appear delicate and like they won’t hold up well (especially when you see the price and wonder what in the world makes it cost so much, lol), but they are really sturdy.

Note: My black one does have a tiny rip in the side where the lace seperated from the fabric, but that just means I washed it and accidentally dried it a few too many times. I can’t tell you how many times I have worn this one item. I am not easy on my clothes and wear these to death. They are worth every penny, in my opinion.

I wear these slips layered under sweaters in the Winter, under a cardigan in the Fall, knotted over cutoffs in the Summer, and over skinny jeans just about any other time. They are a bit sheer, but I just throw it on over a pretty bralette (I bought a 2 pack from Costco a month or so ago!), and it is fine. I am okay with a little peekaboo skin showing, but if you are not you might like it over a tank. They are equally good dressed up or down.

It can hurt sometimes to invest some cash into a piece of clothing, but the cost per wear on these for me make it worth it. I can’t think of anything else I have worn as much.

The mantras I say to myself daily

I‘ve been REALLY into positive self talk lately, mostly because I think I could use it. I’ve always thought I had pretty good self-esteem and that I felt good about myself, but then I’d say things to myself during the day that didn’t match that. Things like:

“I look old today. Where did those wrinkles come from?”

“Why is my hair so gray? I look older.”

“The back of my legs have so much cellulite. I shouldn’t wear these shorts.”

“My hair is so thin. I wish  I had (insert name here)’s hair.”

“I am so weak. Why do I let people walk all over me?”

“I can’t do this.”

“I am a bad wife/mother/friend/etc”

I’ve noticed lately that find myself being self-deprecating a lot. It’s a bad habit of mine. No one likes to brag, but most everyone likes to throw themselves under the bus. I’d never say this stuff to my friends, but I say it to myself a lot. Which is not okay! It’s probably a knee jerk reaction knowing that if I say something bad about myself, I’ll beat someone else to it. Again, it is a bad habit I just don’t think about. It’s ingrained.

HOWEVER,  I am switching things up. Instead of focusing on the stuff I don’t like about myself, or picking myself apart, or saying I can’t do something before I try it, I literally stop it in its tracks. Here are some examples:

When I wake up and look in the mirror…”I look good today. I am healthy. I am happy and lucky to have this day.”

When I am nervous before a gym class…”I am strong, I can do anything I put my mind to.”

When I am at the gym and pushing myself and want to stop…”I am strong, I am an athlete, I can do this.”

When I am feeling guilty over mom life…”I am a good mom. I love my children and they know this. I am doing my best.”

When I lay in bed and know that I have to wake up really early in order to have my morning alone time…”I am lucky to have this time to myself. I am happy to wake up no matter how little sleep I get.”

Do you see how you can change things for yourself with this little shift in self talk?

It all can sound and feel a little hokey at first. I get it! I think that switching from a place of negativity to a place of positivity makes a HUGE difference in life. You believe what you think. I use “I am” statements to hype myself up. Because I AM a lot of good things, and if I say it enough it will be true. All of it. I won’t belittle myself or say things that I wouldn’t say to a dear friend.

It starts with US. If we don’t speak well about ourselves and really, TRULY believe it, then who will?

Tell me, what can you say positive about yourself by starting with “I am….?”

 

 

 

 

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Finding your “true North”style

Target skirt; Sam Edelman sandals; Bag

My daily uniform lately has been really, really simple. Because I live in the South and summer is still going strong, I wear either a pair of cut-off shorts and a tee, a denim skirt and a top (typically a cami), or a slim fitting pant and a knotted tee (for cooler days, lol.)

That’s about it.

I’ve been steadily working on paring down my closet to ONLY the things I truly love. I’ve donating/selling items for the past year or so and I have been left with very little. Which is scary sometimes? The world tells you more is better, buy that isn’t true for me. I look at my closet and I see very little in there, but I  really, really like what I have. I found that having more was often stressful, because I’d look at it all and know that I should be wearing it, but I was still reaching for the same couple of things. I’d worry about the money spent on the things I wasn’t wearing, and then I’d beat myself up over the so-called “bad” decisions I had made.

I’ve been working lately on having the best pieces I can find for what I wear daily. I have a pair of denim cutoffs that are PERFECTION in my eyes, and I wear them to death. I only need this one pair and I am in love with them. I’d rather own just these pair of shorts rather than owning 12 pairs that are just “meh.” I recently found a tee shirt I love that looks great with all the bottoms I like to wear. I can half tuck it, knot it, tuck it into a high-waisted bottom, or lounge in it. I have it in a pretty rose color and the camo print and I’m obsessed. Honestly? I’d rather own these two shirts than a million others.

Fringe boots; Choker top; Backpack

The key point? What are the uniform(s) you wear daily that you can duplicate? What makes you feel amazing when you put in on? I live a very casual life, so I can get away with a tee and shorts daily. When I was working outside the home I loved a nice pair of dress pants and a button down shirt. I felt polished and professional in that and I had a bunch of variations of that silhouette.

It’s interesting when you’ve had a style blog for as long as I have, you really get to investigate what clothes mean to you. I’ll never again be that person that has a new look each day like I used to. I’ll wear and rewear stuff to death, and be pretty simple for the most part, and that is okay. You won’t find groundbreaking outfits here, and I am okay with that. But I hope you’ll find a way for YOU to become who you need to be, whether it be with your style, your health, or your life.

It’s okay to be basic and simple. It’s okay not to be trendy. It’s okay to wear less and rewear the same things over and over again because you like them. It’s okay to not shop the big sales and be swept up in the fervor of it all. It’s okay to be comfortable in your own skin. I promise.

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The best neutral lipstick for Fall

Abercrobie tee (a fave!); Nickel and Suede earrings; Brooklyn Grace Starstruck choker necklace; Mac lipcolor in “Mehr.”

A couple of weeks ago I found myself wandering around the Mac makeup counter at the local mall and I decided to stop in and grab some advice. Before this I had never owned anything Mac before, but had heard a lot about their lipsticks.

(Spoiler alert: I LOVE lipstick! I hoard it and finding that perfect color for each situation is a quest for me.)

I’ve been looking for a while for that perfect neutral/mauve lip that I see on just about everyone nowadays, yet when I would purchase the colors they suggested, they just didn’t work. (Which isn’t on them, different colors work better on each one of us.) They’d be too light or too dark or I’d look positively dead when I applied them to myself. Fast forward to my stop at the Mac counter… the amazing gal there listened to what I was looking for and we experimented. I knew I wanted a matte like look, but not full on matte (bc it is so drying), and I wanted it to be a great mauve/nude color. It took about 4 colors before we found THE ONE. I tend to be pretty pale without my self tanner on and my lips can blend right on into my face. I need a little color, so a traditional nude lip just doesn’t work. In the end we found that the color “mehr” was the one for me. And I love it! It is amazing for everyday life, it stays on forever, and I don’t have to fuss with it.

Here’s my suggestion. If you are in the market for a lipcolor, I suggest going to the makeup counter and asking for help. They are there to help you! You don’t have to buy anything, though it is nice if they spend a lot of time with you, but in the end you get something that is customized to you. I do think that quality lipstick is worth the splurge, especially if you wear it daily.

And that’s it! My perfect neutral fall lipstick advice;)

Tell me, do you have a go to lipcolor?

The strict rules about life that rob you of happiness

I’ve been doing a lot of reflection lately (see this post about my new morning routine!), and I’ve figured out that I am way to strict on myself, and that robs me of a lot of happiness. Just from talking to those around me (mostly women), I find that we all have these hard and fast rules about how we live, and the second life strays away from that, we feel like failures.

Take motherhood. For me, my rules look like this:

Feed them a hot breakfast each morning. Volunteer at their school. Be present, always. Never be distracted. Limit their tv. Play with them when they ask. Feed them organic food. Make them happy. Never yell. Stay off my phone around them. Have an answer for everything. Never let them down. Have fun activities planned. Create amazing childhood memories. Be crushed when they are sad.

I could go on! I take this motherhood job seriously, and I want to raise smart kids that are honest and intelligent and kind. I don’t take this job lightly, and sometimes the pressure is crushing. I won’t bore you how many nights I have lain awake regretting something I’ve said or worrying about them in some capacity.

Yet two things have helped me with this.

  1. I read an article once that asked one simple question. “Do they feel loved”” That is the ONE goal at the end of this whole parenthood journey. A million things can go wrong and we can all mess up, but at the end of the day, do they feel loved? This is my new benchmark for motherhood. 
  2. I also laugh because often when my husband is away I do things very differently. Meal planning goes out the window and I make them either ‘breakfast for dinner’ or hot dogs and macaroni and cheese each night. We even eat it in front of the tv and have a ‘carpet picnic’, as they call it. I feel like I am being the laziest mother alive, but when I tell them this they cheer. They love it.                            Sometimes kids aren’t really complicated after all. They just want to feel loved and secure and the rest can fall into place. 

Another place I have a hard time bending my rules is when it comes to my health and fitness routine.

Some of them include: work out hard on the days you plan with no room for excuse. Eat the meals you planned and make sure you hit your macros each day. NO wine on the weekdays, no excuses. Drink 3 bottles of water per day. Eat paleo as much as possible. Stress over extra meals or unplanned desserts. Worry constantly when life throws a wrench in your plans and you can’t do any of this.

I learned a lot over the summer when we moved and I had to let go of a lot of rigidness. I tossed aside my macros and just ate intuitively. I worked out when I could, and tried not to worry when I couldn’t. While I know I feel better when I DO have a routine and can work out regularly and eat as healthy as I can, the world does not stop if I can’t.

My new health and wellness rules include trying my best. Being more flexible. I try my best to work out when I plan to and eat healthily as much as I can. Each day and each workout I do is a plus. Every healthy meal or smoothie or bottle of water is a plus. It means I am trying, and that’s all that matters.

Tell me, what rules could you modify to make your life better? Are you rigid and controlled like me, or do you give yourself more of a break?

 

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The smoothie I make myself every single morning

I’ve been OBSESSED with smoothies lately. I recently purchased a Nutribullet and so far it is the best $80 I have spent in a long time! I haven’t had a reliable way to make smoothies in years, so this has been a game changer. That, and the fact I don’t really love breakfast, (but need something to fuel me for the gym) means this has been the best ever.

Here is what I put in mine!

2 large handfuls of kale

1 tablespoon of chia or flax seeds

1 tablespoon of almond butter

1 cup frozen banana

2 scoops chocolate protein powder.

I then add water to the fill line and mix for a minute or so. It is so filling and creamy! I make a smaller one for my daughter for breakfast (I just use less kale and add strawberries instead of banana, and vanilla protein powder instead of chocolate.) She loves it because she doesn’t love breakfast that much, either, and this fills her up for school.

I’ve made this smoothie every morning for the past two weeks or so and I never tire of it. I’ve also heard of adding probiotics or collagen powder as well for an extra boost.

Tell me…do you make smoothies? What do you put in yours?

First impressions of Crossfit

Moving this summer to a completely new area gave me the opportunity to branch out of my fitness routine that I’ve been doing for the past year. (You guys know how happy I was with Kayla Itsine’s Beach Body Guide, but it was time for a change.) I couldn’t really find a gym that matched what I was looking for in Mobile (#gymproblems, lol) and I also believe in signs. I  saw so many signs around me telling me that I as ready for a new challenge.

My sister-in-law has been doing Crossfit for the past couple of years or so, and she urged me to look into it. I started by finding one that would be close to me, and semi stalked their Instagram from March until I moved here in July. The one I found is about 10 minutes from my house, and I toured it with my kids in late July. I really enjoyed speaking with the owner and after some thought (and major butterflies!), I decided to sign up.

Here are my first impressions of Crossfit and what I have learned so far:

  1. I started with the (mandatory) Foundations classes. This is where you learn the lingo of Crossfit and the correct way to do the different Olympic style lifts. You practice in a group of other new people and use a PVC pipe to simulate a bar. You need 4 of these classes before you can join an actual class, and they are for your safety. I actually had trouble making it to a couple of mine and just jumped into classes after 1 formal one and 2 informal ones,  and did just fine. The coaches are all hands on and help with all the technical things you need to not get hurt. I never felt out of place or “weird.”
  2. I would consider myself a fit and strong person in a lot of areas, and found that I could do a lot of things easily in Crossfit, but other areas were a real challenge. I can do box jumps, wall walk ups, rowing, jump roping, push ups, etc., pretty easily, but cannot do a pull-up without a modification, and the weight-lifting is really challenging (the form and terms can be tricky to get correct.) I am really sore in areas I didn’t use a lot of in the past year, like my forearms and the back of my shoulder/neck. I also have very little grip strength, and my hands are tore up from using the bar. And lets not get into the bruising…;)
  3. The Coaches and the people are where Crossfit excels. When you join Crossfit you get personal training in class, and you do it with other people. Once you go to class for a bit you start seeing the same people and it builds a sense of community (which I found in my last gym as well.) I love this part of working out and staying healthy! I enjoy knowing that I will see the same faces each morning and that we are all doing the same things. As for the coaching, I think that they are all interested in seeing you do things in a way that challenges you, but they want to keep you safe. I have never felt weird for using smaller weights than others, and everyone is happy at the end and makes you feel good for finishing. Crossfit is hard for everybody, because you challenge yourself, so we are all dying at ant given time. Ha.
  4. You can’t be afraid to fail or look ridiculous. I love that there are no mirrors in Crossfit and that everyone is there to do the best they can. I don’t feel like people are looking at me and judging (which I did feel in my old gym a lot), and I think trying something hard and failing is not frowned upon.
  5. The more you go, the better you will feel. I’m only about a month in, but I already feel more comfortable walking into class and doing the WOD, as well as knowing what all the different exercises are. I do get nervous before each class, but I think that just means I am challenging myself, and that is good! I also feel like once you go to the same classes week after week you feel more a part of the group. I’m recognizing names and faces and coaches, and it makes me feel like I belong.
  6. I’m letting go of preconceived notions I have held on to. From “I can’t do a pull up” to “I can’t lift heavy weights above my head” to “that weight is too heavy for me.” I can do all of these things. Sometimes I have to modify it make it easier, but I CAN do it. I am stronger than I think in more areas than I thought, and I can do more than I thought.

That’s it for now! Like I mentioned, I am about a month in and I am feeling really good. I see improvements in my strength, and I feel more confident each class I go to. I still don’t weigh myself or concern myself with that stuff, and I haven’t been doing progress photos (I keep meaning to!), but I feel good so that is all that matters. I will keep you updated as I continue on this new journey!

 

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My journey into meditation (and why you should try it, too!)
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On building self confidence

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