1) When your cat sits up all alert on the bed at night and stares intently at the door when you are alone (watching true crime shows, see below) and you are convinced there is a killer outside your bedroom door.
2) Walking around all day with a tag hanging off the back of your shirt because you forgot to cut it off. Classy.
3) Forgetting what day my anniversary is. October 7th? 9th? Oh, how soon we forget.
4) Getting sized at Victoria’s Secret for new bras and finding she was way off. As in not even close. Shouldn’t they know what they are doing?
5) Telling my daughter (after she exited class with bitter tears) that she doesn’t get a medal after gymnastics class. This isn’t London, sweetheart.
1) Watching true crime shows on the I.D. channel. I’m a sucker for a good mystery and love seeing these real life shows. Note: DO NOT watch, “The killer next door” while your husband is away. Lesson learned.
2) Having your three year old tell you that he “doesn’t have a tongue, its a licking thing.” Okay, we’ll go with that. Weirdo.
3) Your four year old telling you that unicorns are different than real horses because “they have rainbow manes.” And then looking at you like you are an idiot for not knowing the difference.
4) Watching my kids in gymnastics and planning on how I will spend the money they make on endorsements after they win gold in the Olympics.
5) Moscato wine. At night. So delicious I could literally chug it from the bottle.