Yesterday I got my first negative comment on this blog and (rashly) deleted it immediately. It felt like a hit and run. Eleven o’clock at night and I receive a comment which criticized my mothering skills and the time I spend with my children. The comment was dropped and she ran, leaving me no way to respond.
I regret deleting the comment. I want this to be a place where all types can weigh in, but also (naively?) wish those that don’t know me don’t make assumptions without really knowing who I am. I think it seems pretty clear how much my kids mean to me. They are featured proudly several times a week. My entire life revolves around them. This blog is my place to be me, not just Molly and Brady’s mom, but Meagan.
The comment came from something I wrote in this post, where I mentioned that sleep training for my children involved door locks. One sentence. That is all it took to judge me as a mother.
Here is the comment:
Wow, you really shouldn’t lock your kids in anywhere. Especially if its just so you can sleep in longer?! I wish mothers would put their kids first. I mean the time you spend taking pictures of your outfits is crazy and yet you are locking your kids in their rooms? You should turn off your camera and go spend time with your kids.
I think nowadays it may seem cool to judge other mothers and feel like you are doing it better. By not taking the time to ask, why?, you cause worry and doubt in a complete stranger. I will gladly answer any comment, negative or positive. I wish this commenter had given me the chance to indulge in a little conversation.
Let’s be honest, though. The commenter wasn’t interested in hearing why I did certain things, were they? They were interested in throwing a virtual slap at me that was meant to hurt.
And it did.
You see, I am a mother. Which means I have a built in guilt about everything I do. Is it enough? Could I have done that better? Will my children ever know how much I love them? That they make my entire life worth it? That it doesn’t matter how much I accomplish in life now as long I have them and that they are happy?
Raising them is my priority, and those that know me know that is the truth.
Those that support me know that my children are 17 months apart. They know that when my daughter was 15 months old (so little!) she had a big girl bed because, who can afford two cribs? When you have children that little in a bed and they can open doors you put door locks on for their safety. My son learned to climb out of his crib at 14 months and had a toddler bed a month later. He had a door lock on his door for the same reason. Safety.
Do they have door locks on now? No! How in the world would they get up to go to the bathroom? They are 3 and (almost) five and stay in their rooms till 7am. I’m pretty sure that is not called “sleeping in.” They read quietly or play with their 6,000 toys in their rooms until I come out. Sometimes they are up when I come out and sometimes not. I follow the Baby Whisperer routine in this house and 7am has always been the wake up time.
I think this will be the last post I do responding to criticism. I know in my heart that I am a good mother. I love my children to pieces and have dedicated my life to them.
I am a stay at home mom and I do the majority of my blog work during nap and bedtime. My children are not neglected, trust me! I will say this: I agree about putting my camera/phone/computer down and spending more time with them. That is my goal and I am working on that.
Thank you to all of you that do support me! It means the world that there is a community of people out there willing to read what I have to say and be a part of my life.