My brother and sister in law and little nephew Wyatt are in town for a couple of days and we have already made three trips to Target, eaten massive quantities of sushi and bought
one two boxes of wine. Molly and Brady love showing their cousin the ropes and so far karaoke is the winner. We listen to an old version of kids pop that is so ridiculous it becomes funny. Molly bosses everyone around and insists on running the show and the boys kinda purposefully annoy her as boys tend to do.
On a serious note,
My step dad was in the hospital for pneumonia (he’s okay mostly) and and I’ve been struggling a little with that. Its kind of hard to write about family issues and my fears concerning things that are more personal as I don’t want to hurt those around me or betray privacy. I’ve always been someone who needs to write my feelings down to sort them out and I like sharing stories that I feel others can relate to. I wish sometimes that I could just write anonymously and no one would know who I was, you know? Then I could tell some of the things that are hurting me or draining me emotionally without harm.
I take things to heart a lot and I’m pretty sensitive. I am easily wounded. I want to help everyone, be strong, be the person that helps and takes care of others. This comes back and hurts me sometimes, too. I want to help and end up doing too much or overextending myself and then I melt down or have to remove myself and hibernate within my own mind. I am also solitary and a lot of the time I am happiest at home, with my family. I feel safe here and loved. It is my safe place.
I feel blessed to have the life I have and a home that makes me happy. I am a lucky girl. I am still learning about who I am, how I can improve and what I need to work on. I am a work in progress for sure. At 32 I am still learning about what makes me happy, who I need to associate with and bad habits I need to let go. I see patterns of behavior in myself that I need to change or are pointed out to me (in a kind way) that really open my eyes. I guess I’m just on a lifelong journey to find myself in a way.
Thanks for letting me pour my heart here. I truly appreciate each and every one of you that reads what I have to write and comments and has become a part of my life. Writing this blog and posting is one of my favorite things to do. It has become the me I’ve always wanted to be, a place to just to share my life and thoughts. I love it.
Thanks for hanging out with me.
I heart you!