Sorry for the crappy photo link, all photos can be sources individually here.
I didn’t like my wedding. There, I said it. I feel bad about this, because it cost a lot of money and there were a lot of good intentions, but ultimately I was disappointed by a lot of what happened. Before I begin on the why’s, let me just say that I love being married and had a great wedding weekend with my friends and family. That part made me happy. I also think that as time passes our wedding is less and less important because we have had so many amazing things happen to us that means more. The wedding itself was the part I didn’t like, not the marriage! My husband also agrees with me, too. That makes it better, right?
I got engaged at 23 when my then boyfriend was in the middle of flight school and we didn’t know when he was graduating and where we were moving. It was really hard to pin down a date and were engaged about 7 months before we did. We contemplated eloping that Spring for legal reasons and I kind of wish we did! Just the two of us, on a beach saying our vows. The true meaning of marriage, no? My brother did this and it was one of the most touching weddings I have ever been to. It stripped down all the hoopla to what really mattered. A man and a woman saying vows and promising themselves to each other.
Then (then!) we were going to get married in Vegas. For real! It was going to be at the Bellagio in front of the fountain and when my mom and I went wedding dress shopping I bought a dress that would fit that occasion. It was simple and sleek. We both loved this idea and we were all set to go when I changed my mind last minute. I wanted the church wedding! The bridal party. The reception. The big party. I wanted the whole experience and to my husband’s chagrin we set the date in Cape Cod for October of 2004. In July. From Pensacola, Florida. Everything was planned long distance and many details weren’t what I wanted. I blame myself! I was young and didn’t really know what I wanted and agreed to things I wouldn’t agree to now.
The wedding itself? We had to jump through so many hoops to get married in the Catholic church. A major hurricane blew through Pensacola that year and messed everything up and we only had three days to fly up and get married before my husband had to go back for more training. We had to go the court the day before the wedding to get a waiver on the waiting period for a wedding license, the Deacon at the church forgot to do the proper paperwork and I had to spend the entire day getting permission from the Bishop of Massachusetts for us to be married, the church was ugly and too formal, the ceremony very impersonal, I didn’t like my dress, the reception hall was too small and not suited…I could go on and on.
I guess what I am trying to say is that the wedding was not as meaningful as I wanted it to be, it was more about the event than about us. Two people saying vows and celebrating.
Which brings me to the subject of our vow renewal. Next year (2014!) we will be married for ten years. We have always said that we would renew our vows our way, in a manner that spoke to us. I’ve been researching a lot and we talk about this often. What would be meaningful to us? We know this: we want it to be simple, straightforward and intimate. We want to be barefoot on the beach, holding hands and saying vows designed by us. I want to wear a dress that makes me smile and walk hand in hand with my daughter to my husband and son and do this as a family. I want beautiful photographs to remember it by.
It’s funny how growing up and getting a little older gives you perspective on what is really important. My little family means the most and the man I married. That is all I need.
Just two, crazy kids getting married!
Tell me: Did you like your wedding? Would you do anything different?