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I was watching the Oprah channel last Sunday night (since Gypsy Wedding and Myrtle Manor are unfortunately over) and ended up watching the end of a Life Class about raising children as a single mother. While I am not a single mother, I have been through periods of having to parent alone while my husband is away for long periods of time and I respect women who do it alone. It is hard.
What struck me the most about this show was a part at the end where the co host spoke to a mom about making sure you spend time telling your children about what you want them to be and not just what you don’t want. This struck a chord in me and made me think about what I focus on more. I talk with my kids a lot, but do I really tell them what my dreams are for them? I want them to be kind, honest, helpful to others, hard working, educated and happy. I want my daughter to feel good about herself inside and out. I want her to be happy in her skin and I want her to feel beautiful inside and out. I want my son to be kind to women, hard working, honest, and thoughtful. I want him to be a man like his daddy, who works hard for his family and comes home eager at night to spend time with his family. I want them to have a servants heart, but not to be walked on. There is a fine balance of being helpful to others and learning to say no. Its taken me a long time to learn this, hopefully they will discover this earlier!
I want them to feel the joy in complimenting others, playing with the child on the playground who is alone, defending those that are bullied and picked on, and working to be a friend to those that need it. So many things things that I think of nightly while laying in bed at night. My husband falls asleep in 2 seconds flat (what the????) and I lay awake thinking of all the things I want to teach my children.
Now I have a new goal.
I will tell them what I wish for them and what I want them to be, not what I don’t. Of course they can choose to be whatever they wish (currently a Paleontologist and a Pop Star according to Molly…) I’m more concerned with character traits and being able to care for themselves and others. There are typically a zillion and one things on my mind concerning my children on any given day. Give me a situation 10 years in the future and I will worry about it. These little people are my greatest gift in life, I’m hoping to do well by them.
Tell me, what do you think about this concept? Do you (or will you!) think kids should be told what you want them to be?