Do you believe in soul mates?

Target cardigan (similar) and tote, old (option); ℅ Sears romper (option); American Eagle turquoise pendant; Baublebar Morse Code necklace.

I read the other day that people who believe they are soul mates are more likely to feel dissatisfaction when problems arise than couples who do not believe in soul mates. The reasoning is that those that think they have met their soul mate tend to believe that when there is trouble that perhaps they are not destined to be together after all (and therefore split), whereas couples who think of their love more as a journey that is filled with ups and downs are more likely to be happier in the long run.

(I’m going somewhere with this, I promise!)

You see, I don’t believe in soul mates. The notion that there is only ONE person out there for us seems really limiting to me, really. I think there are a lot of people that would be a great fit for us love-wise IF we are willing to put in the work. I DO believe that we are led to certain people in our life, though. When I think of my husband and I, I see so many instances where if this exact sequence of events didn’t happen, we wouldn’t have met and fell in love. I am always grateful for this, too, because having him in my life is a gift. This domino effect of sorts that created the circumstances where we have ended up together always amazes me. It was a perfect storm of sorts, (which incidentally, is the first movie we ever went to..;) Yet I can’t ever say that he is really my ‘soul mate.’ 

I believe that we are really well suited in personality and goals, we parent the same way and have a dream for ourselves that fits really well with each other. We love each other in a way that creates a need to be better people. I am beyond happy living this life with him, and love him more each day and year that we are married. He is me teammate and best friend, my partner and love. Which is more than a soul mate I guess, or bigger at least, in my opinion. 

We have grown up together and have a life of shared memories that is the best thing ever when I look back on it. This life we have created together is not about the grand romantic gesture, it’s not the show off type of love story that makes us all swoon when we see it on tv, and most definitely NOT the definition of ‘soul mates’, but it is real. It’s real and raw and honest. It’s the days we show up and fight to be the best we can be when we really want to give up. The moments we make a choice to stick with it, to give it all you’ve got when you aren’t sure if you can. 

Its the ultimate risk, to give your heart to someone and not know if they will keep it safe or break it. To believe in your entire love story rather than the thought of what it should be, or the moments when it is less than awesome. To let go of the fairytale and embrace reality is the hardest thing sometimes. We may or may not be what the world defines as ‘soul mates’, but he is my life and my love, my heart and my soul, and I’ll take that any day.