When I was a little girl I always envisioned myself having a ton of children, all of them prim and proper little girls in flounced dresses and pristine patent leather shoes. (Ha!) I was super girly, so I thought I wanted that when it came to children. (I also wanted twins, so that gives you another hint as to how nuts I was!) I did get to have my little girl, and she is my sassy little curly headed babe, but then I got a baby boy for my second, and he is such a surprise to me. I thought for a hot second that I would be disappointed, but that’s because I just didn’t know how awesome boys really are.
Here are five things I love about being a boy mom:
1) Everything about having a boy is a mystery to me. I grew up with a brother and I get Lego’s and dirt biking and sweaty sports stuff, but really, I didn’t have a clue about caring for little baby boy parts or what it would be like to send him for a circumcision at two days old. I don’t understand a boy’s mind at thirteen, or how his mind will work in school, or what even boys think about. (Do women EVER learn this?) And that scared me for a long time. Now I just enjoy him for who he is, regardless of his gender. I feel like I am here to protect his emotional life and really hear him and be the mama who cheers the loudest at ball games. I will let him be gooey and cry and be sensitive. I will build Lego buildings and play Transformer’s with him when I am tired of Princess tea parties. I like the mystery of not knowing precisely what boys are like, or how he may be thinking as he grows up.
2) At this point, he doesn’t really care what he wears and is perfectly happy to let his mama pick out his clothes. Boys are so very low maintenance when it comes to clothes. And hair! He is more casual than his sister (surprise!), and from the beginning I had fun dressing him in cute cargo pants and tees. I feel like having a girl puts pressure on the mama to always dress them up like a doll, and to always wear the pink and the frills and the tutus. And trust me, I had fun with that…but a boy is fun to dress in a different way. There are no battles in the morning when getting dressed, ever, and there is something very amazing about that.
3) From the second my son was born he was a snuggler. And he loves to snuggle with me, in particular. For a couple of years he only wanted to be held by me, to sit on my lap in every social situation, and to sit right on top of me on the couch at home. He’s still like that. This boy, who’s first word was mama and rode on my hip forever, is my heart. For years it seems he has been my constant companion, coming with me to drop his sister off at school, and hanging with me until we could get her again. This is his last year being home with me two days a week before he goes to Kindergarten next year, and I keep wondering what I am going to do without him home during in the day. I’ve had five and a half years of him by my side constantly, he’s the one that tells me, “You’re so pretty, mama..”, and, “I love you, mama.” He is my mushiest child, the one that needs the most hugs and love and snuggles, and he gives them out so freely. I adore him.
4) I know this may sound weird, but I don’t worry about him as much as I do my daughter. I think it’s easier to be a man in this world (though I think women DO really run this world;) I don’t have to worry about so many things with him, from getting pregnant unintentionally, or getting raped, or having to worry about him walking along anywhere at night and having someone walk too close behind him and making his heart skip a beat in fear. I mean, of course this stuff DOES happen to men, just not like it does to women. I have different fears for him, but they aren’t the same things I worry about with my little girl.
5) Finally, I like that I get a chance to teach him how to be a man, from a women’s perspective. I want him to be a gentleman, and to be able to meet his future wife and be confident and sure of himself. I want him to be the type of man that helps with the housework and changes diapers and wears a tiara when his daughter requests it. I know my husband will help him with the guy parts of life, but I look forward to teaching him the softer parts of living. I want him to respect women, most of all, and to have that respect and love reflected back on him. He can be rough and tough and manly and all that fun stuff that I love about men, too, but also be the type of guy that vacuums the floor and does the laundry from time to time. And maybe even some day, his wife will come to me and say THANK YOU, for raising the type of man who can be soft and hard, all at the same time. (Here’s hoping;)
This boy of mine is a blessing, and I will hold on to him so tight, until he leaves and lives his own life someday. But for now, I am the keeper of his heart and feelings, and being his mama is the biggest reward of my life.