See this happy woman on the beach in Maui? She wasn’t feeling her physical best (because she had programmed herself to pick up flaws no matter what her size..), but she put that behind her and decided to just RELEASE all negative thoughts about herself and just be HAPPY. To enjoy the dream vacation she was on with her husband and to let the negativity just pass on through. To let go of these expectations she had forever about what she should eat and do and just feel joy. Such a novel idea, yes? It always sounds simple in theory, but I know from speaking to almost every single woman I know, that we all have these insane self concepts that are really holding us back.
Anyway, leading up to this trip I feel like my body had been…weird. I was bloated and uncomfortable, and all my clothes fit tightly. I had done nothing different, but my physical body just felt off. Which in the past would have sent me into a tailspin. I often go into big days, big trips, etc, with HUGE expectations. I need everything to be PERFECT, (my body, my clothes…) or it feels not right. I am slowly learning to let this go. Here is what I have been working on over the past two years to help with this…
How to combat negative self talk (SOS)
Stop: Mentally tell yourself “STOP!” when you notice unhelpful thoughts cycle through. (I do this a lot when my mind tells me I am fat, which is hourly or more! I am working on major perfection issues and limiting beliefs when it comes to this.)
Observe: What are you saying to yourself and how does it make you feel? It doesn’t make me feel good to say I am fat, or to micro analyze pictures of myself in a suit, or compare myself to the past. Observe the feelings and let them pass. You don’t have to BE these negatove thoughts you have heard in your brain forever, if they make you feel bad, let them go.
Shift: Take what you are saying and flip it around. I say the affirmations, “I am fit and strong and at the perfect weight,” a lot, and “I have a body.” And also, “I release all engative thoughts about my body.”
I remind myself that I am more than a body, a size, and that I won’t care about the size of my thighs on my deathbed.
I often have to repeat these phrases A LOT, you guys. But it is getting better! Even 6 months ago I would have been freaked out going to Hawaii not feeling my physical best, but I REFUSED to let anything get in the way of my happiness, and neither should you!
Also, stay away from triggers! You know what they are. For me, that is standing in front of the mirror and picking myself apart, looking at pics of myself in a suit from two years ago (when I thought I was fitter, but really just had severe control and anxiety issues), and I stay away from anyone on social media that makes me feel bad (it’s not them, it’s me!) There is no shame in unfollowing someone.
Affirmations for confidence and self worth:
I release all negative thoughts I have about myself.
I love all of my imperfections.
I am valuable.
I am beautiful.
I am healthy.
I am strong.
I am smart.
I am kind.
I am ENOUGH.
A poem for realizing your inner light:
In the dark,
Brighter than many ever see.
Through the soul’s own mastery.
And now the world recieves
From her dower:
The message of the strength,
Of inner power.
You are amazing. You can do anything. Positivity is a choice. Celebrate your individuality. Be prepared to succeed.
It is up to US to stop the negative thoughts we have about ourselves and program our minds with a better narrative. Never underestimate to simle phrase, “I love and approve of myself.”