It is a rainy and slow morning here and I am HERE FOR IT. I love an excuse to slow down and just chill. My personality loves to be productive at all times (which is good and bad honestly,) and sometimes I feel like I need an excuse to slow down. I am working on that, but rainy days often feel like permission to do just that. Feeling productive is my nemesis, I often can’t just enjoy things until I feel like I “accomplished” something, either moving my body or writing or creating something. I’m learning how to relax just because, and finding value in being enough AS IS, without the need for validation and success.
So the last couple of weeks have been frustrating. You might know we have been renovating our house for almost two months now, and we are finally starting to see the end in sight. BUT, some things are taking so much longer than we thought (the floors) and managing expectations about that has been annoying and just plain hard. I’ve also felt my emotions take a nose dive, and when I always search for a WHY, that answer is most likely in front of my face and obvious (COVID crap, moving cross country, two months of constant work, general upheaval, being human, ect..) I have a hard time giving myself permission to be run down, to feel blah for more than one day, or to have “permission” to let months of upheaval get me down. I am ready to be settled and to see what this year brings (PLEASE LET SCHOOL START!) I know I’m not alone in the uncertainty department. It has been a constant for all of us.
My negativity has popped up, and my regular routine has been lost, so my mindset has taken a nose dive. I am working on getting that back.
Here is my plan to feel better at the moment….
1) First, I need to cut the negativity down. It has reared its ugly head and it takes a toll on my mental health. I am going to work on not complaining, and stopping negative thought when I catch it. This is an ongoing and imperfect process! Just being aware helps. Gently saying “stop” in my head when I notice it. Steering my brain away from complaining, which never helps and only fuels more dissatisfaction. Louise Hay’s books are great to help unlearn negative thought patterns.
2) I am also going to work on my negative body thoughts. I need to be more kind to myself! This is about being more mindful, too. Replacing all negative thoughts that I catch, with “I have a body.” Also, noticing things I love and calling them out in the mirror, versus stuff I don’t love. This is a process, too. There is no perfect finish line. I want to let go of a lifetime of disordered eating and diet culture and just truly enjoy things and life. I have been loving this book on Intuitive Eating and this book on Body Love, lately!
3) Keeping track of what I appreciate is something I love doing. I like to write a list in the morning of 3-5 things. They can be big or small. Some recent good things…
Having my sink plumbed and getting our faucet installed, new countertops, cooking a meal at home for the first time, new shorts, pretty red nails, a song that reminds me of a lost, loved one, a delicious one hour nap, an amazing new book….
4) Just giving myself GRACE. I am doing okay, you are doing okay, everything will be fine. One of my favorite affirmations is, “Everything is always working out for me.” I need to say that more.
5) I am re-reading some of my favorite self help books (This one is a fave!) and they are inspiring me. My early morning habits have been slacking and I feel my best when I fuel my brain with good things and create more, rather than consume social media and zone out. I am also working on being more intentional with my work day and my phone use (which is tricky as I work mostly from my phone!)
6) CBD oil helps me a lot calm down and feel less anxious. I get the Balance Box (unflavored) delivered monthly from Equilibria. I take the soft gels before bed, and do the drops during the day. I love it and think this company is amazing. They set up a call to figure out what you need and the right dosage, and really care about you and helping. I have been using this brand for 4+ months now and love it.
Okay, that’s it for now! One thing I would LOVE, would be if you commented and shared some good things in your life right now.