For the past ten years or so I have had a really set workout plan. It started out at the local Y when my babies were little, and to be honest, I started there mostly for the free daycare and daily break. Slowly but surely I started seeing results and I began to feel really good in my skin.
We moved again and I began the BBG program. I saw crazy results from this and my instagram became a sort of fitness account. I monitored my diet heavily with macros and weighing my food and saw a side of myself I never knew existed (very lean and sculpted and confident.)
Another move, and I began CrossFit. This taught me I could do really hard things and have fun doing it. I loved my crew and community there, ran a half marathon, and did the Super Spartan race. I became an athlete, something I never knew I had in me. I was strong and doing that 5 days a week was a way to see friends daily and push myself.
Now here we are again, another move, and another switch. With Covid and renovating I have been working out at home for that past 6 ish months. Mostly walks, some running, and pilates videos on my office floor. It’s been an adjustment. On one hand, I love this low impact stuff, it feels like me.
The past 10 years has been about proving to myself and the world that I could be one thing (it is amazing to see that you can do anything you out your mind to!) Now I’m finding it is time to figure out what I want. What make me feel good, in my body? If no one could see what I was up to, would I still choose this for myself? What do I want out of a workout?
It’s bittersweet, of course, I miss my CrossFit family and who knows, maybe I’ll do that again here at some point, but I am really digging in an unpacking what truly lights me up. I love this simple routine but miss community and having a place to go each day. But then again, just like I wrote yesterday, maybe this isn’t about trying to recreate the past, maybe it’s time to lay down a new track for the person I am meant to be.