So I messed up yesterday. I missed an important phone call from the dentist and ended up getting some stuff done for the kids and it cost me almost $500, when it was supposed to be free. Which I didn’t realize till after it was done, since you can’t go in with your kids right now due to COVID. The secretary told me after and I was stunned. And so angry. At myself and at them and at the world.
I got in the car and went home and cried on the phone with my husband. I was so upset for spending that much money on an elective dental procedure and wished I could go back in time and just not have gone.
I cried, and then my son gave me a hug, because he could tell I needed it. I made some lunch and an iced coffee, and took a bunch of deep breathes. Slowly, slowly, I felt a bit better.
When my babies were tiny and I’d be up with them at 3am and just dead tired and when there was no relief in sight, I’d repeat the phrase, “It’s always darkest before he dawn.” Meaning, sometime things get worse before they get better, but then they do. With time. Emotions do the same, they feel overwhelming and insurmountable sometimes. 2020 feels like that. When will it get better? Be normal? I can’t attest to a timeline, but all of the things I thought I couldn’t get through in life, I have. One breathe at a time. Big things, and little things and frustrating things like dental co-pay mixups.
We can do hard things. ✌🏻