I saw a similar post to this in my Facebook feed the other day and loved it, mostly because it takes the perfection veil off of motherhood and makes the rest of us mere mortals feel better about what we do. I always like to share the good and the bad parts of motherhood, because honesty is always the best policy for me, and it tends to make other people feel good about what we are doing (or not doing.) I mean, SERIOUSLY, motherhood is hard! I know I do a lot of things well as a mother, but there are some things I don’t do, and I thought I’d share. Now don’t judge me! 😉
5 things I don’t do as a mother (that I probably should.)
1) I don’t make my kids floss, and they only brush their teeth before bed.
I KNOW. Flossing is important, I get it. But I never remember to floss myself, so trying to get them to floss is not something I think to do. They never mind flossing, if I buy them those floss sticks, but that clearly never happens. I also always only brushed their teeth at night after their bottles or last drink of the day as babies, and it sort of carried through. Luckily, they always have good checkups at the dentist, so I’m taking that as a good sign that my laziness doesn’t matter here.
2) I don’t stress over what is going on in the classroom, or worry over reading levels, etc.
Okay, a little note here: I have a teaching degree and taught for several years, so I know what to expect in elementary school. What I don’t like to do is stress over the little things. I like to give my children a little space to learn things at their own pace in the classroom. I trust my children’s’ teachers and know they are doing their job well. I do stress hard work for my children and trying their best, and have always worked at home with them to learn things at an early age. I drill them for spelling test and do summer work to keep them learning year round, and have always done lessons for them at home in various subjects. But I don’t believe in worrying over standardized test results, or where they stand against the county in math knowledge. I know my children and trust they will learn what they need as time goes on.
3) I don’t like playing with my kids.
Okay, this sounds bad, but there nothing more boring for me than building Lego structures with my son, or playing “pretend tea party” with my daughter. First of all, they micro manage me while we play. “No mommy, that doesn’t go THERE.” Second of all, I’m an adult, so playing with kids toys or games is not something that appeals to me. I think kids can more or less entertain themselves at a certain age, and don’t need me to be their playmate. That’s why I had two kids, so they could play TOGETHER. I do find myself building intricate Lego tree houses from time to time, or playing Chutes and Ladders, or dressing up various dolls with my daughter, but not that much. I’m their mother, not their entertainment director, or their playmate. I bring them to great places, keep them busy with activities, and provide lots of time for them to pretend and use their imaginations at home, but I do not like to play.
4) I don’t make homemade treats for school, (or any occasion, really.)
You know those Pinterest posts of intricate snacks and birthday treats that you can make for your child’s classmates that are bound to inspire awe (and jealousy?) I don’t make those. I’m the one buying the pre-made stuff at the grocery store the day before, always. I’m just not into the hoopla of the whole “let’s make a crazy snack that no one has ever seen before,” kind of girl. I’m always impressed when others do it, but I find that less is more with kids. They don’t care what they are eating, just that they are getting a treat. The same goes for huge and expensive birthday parties. There is something to be said for a simple party with pizza, fruit salad, and a store bought cake that always works. Keeping up in this area stresses me out, so I don’t do it. And I’m happier for it.
5) I don’t do a drawn out bedtime ritual anymore.
For years I did a precise good night routine for my kids that took approximately 30-45 minutes. It began with baths, then lots of books, then five songs each, with sound machines and lots of kisses, and last minute bathroom trips. I also used to dread this time each night, because by that point in the day I was DONE. I’m still that way. Mommy is DONE typically by four, but that’s a story for another day;)
Now at the ages of five and seven I can send my kids to their rooms for 30 minutes of free play in their rooms at about 7pm, then when that is done I shut their lights out, kiss them quick and leave. That’s it. They don’t need the drawn out routine that they used to, because they take advantage of it and make it longer. (Stinkers.) They’re old enough now to be put to bed more quickly, and to have their own time to read or play quietly before.
Tell me, what do you NOT do as a mom (that you think you should?)
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1) Be independent.
When I think of my mom, I think of independence and competence. She is no wilting flower, let me tell you. I have seen her do a million things on her own, and she never complains. We would do awesome camping trips as a kid, just my brother and her and I, and they were amazing. I look back and wonder how she did it all, honestly. She seems, in my memories, to always have been able to do anything. There is never an excuse of too tired, too old, too young, or too sick. She’s a ‘suck it up, buttercup’ kind of lady, and now I am the same way.
2) Going after your dreams.
When I was in middle school my mom went to nursing school and we both ended up graduating together my eighth grade year. I watched her study her butt off while holding down different jobs and parenting two kids. I’ve seen her run a restaurant, bar tend, drive a food truck, basically anything that would bring money in and pay the bills. She has lived in mobile homes, a camper in my grandparent’s back yard, and massive beach homes. She has had nothing, and enough, and has worked every second for it all. She is so goal oriented and isn’t afraid to work hard to do it, no matter how difficult it may be. She was, and is, a hard worker at her core, and has always showed me that no matter how hard life may get, we can never give up.
3) No whining.
My mother is not a whiner. She’s a nurse, so that means when I was growing up I couldn’t really be that sick, ever, because she could tell if I was bluffing. Basically, I would have to be bleeding out of the eyes to stay home. (I hated that, trust me!) She pushes through everything, all pain and suffering, and never stays down for long. Sometimes she SHOULD rest and relax a bit, but she doesn’t. She has taught me to keep going, keep your head up, and don’t let small things get you down.
Always growing up my mom was reading. No matter how hard she was working or what was going on, our life was filled with books and time to read. We began sharing books early on, and I think a lot of my reading habits, and my absolute love of reading, comes from her. She also has a great introspective sense of self, which translated into my love of learning about MYself, and reading books that teach me to be better. She and I are similar should when it comes to this, and I love that.
5) How to laugh.
When my mama and I are together, we can be pure crazy. We can laugh at the stupidest things, have crying fits over funny books or songs, and often have the best time together. I think when it comes to her and I, we can be passionately SO different from one another, but also so very much the same. I can be my essential and full self around her, and she loves me just the same. We take each other in with all the good, the bad, and the ugly. I can be my goofiest self around her, and she with me, and it always makes me smile.
Tell me, what has your mother taught YOU?
I’ve had the honor of working with some really awesome women lately, and recently had my look summed up in three words…
Stylish, Easy, On-trend
Isn’t it fun sometimes to get an outside perspective of what others think of you? In my own head I’m living life day by day and get stuck comparing myself to others, so it’s fun to hear that what I’m projecting out in the world is exactly what I want you to see.
On that note, I wanted to share with you this look I wore last week. It’s not flashy, or complicated, but it’s a great barometer of how I dress when I’m with my kids. I need to be comfortable and feel good about what I’m wearing.
I want to look effortless, and as Hilary Rushford says, be remarkable. Which means wearing something worth remarking on. (She’s amazing, by the way. Make sure you are a part of her Honor Society!)
Five things about this look:
1) This tee is the softest thing I own. I bought an XL and it is slouchy and lightweight and sits well on the body. It floats and doesn’t cling and cost $5. Amen.
2) This fringe necklace is one of my fave summer accessories. I always get compliments when I wear it and it makes me happy. I wish I had bought it in more colors!
3) These boots. Sometimes the most boring things to buy are the most versatile, hmmm? I hemmed and hawed over them forever and now I’m glad I finally bit the bullet and purchased them.
4) The pants. Not too low rise, not to high. Pale, icy blue in color and just the right amount of stretch. ( I also cut off all the legs of my pants at the ankle and wash them for the perfect amount of fray!)
5) As outfits go, I realize this isn’t a rule breaker. It’s basic and easy and had just a small amount of intrigue via the accessories. It’s me in a nutshell, at my most basic core, and I feel good in it.
Tell me, what is your favorite, go to look?