I’ve been doing a lot of reflection lately (see this post about my new morning routine!), and I’ve figured out that I am way to strict on myself, and that robs me of a lot of happiness. Just from talking to those around me (mostly women), I find that we all have these hard and fast rules about how we live, and the second life strays away from that, we feel like failures.

Take motherhood. For me, my rules look like this:

Feed them a hot breakfast each morning. Volunteer at their school. Be present, always. Never be distracted. Limit their tv. Play with them when they ask. Feed them organic food. Make them happy. Never yell. Stay off my phone around them. Have an answer for everything. Never let them down. Have fun activities planned. Create amazing childhood memories. Be crushed when they are sad.

I could go on! I take this motherhood job seriously, and I want to raise smart kids that are honest and intelligent and kind. I don’t take this job lightly, and sometimes the pressure is crushing. I won’t bore you how many nights I have lain awake regretting something I’ve said or worrying about them in some capacity.

Yet two things have helped me with this.

1. I read an article once that asked one simple question. “Do they feel loved”” That is the ONE goal at the end of this whole parenthood journey. A million things can go wrong and we can all mess up, but at the end of the day, do they feel loved? This is my new benchmark for motherhood. 
2. I also laugh because often when my husband is away I do things very differently. Meal planning goes out the window and I make them either ‘breakfast for dinner’ or hot dogs and macaroni and cheese each night. We even eat it in front of the tv and have a ‘carpet picnic’, as they call it. I feel like I am being the laziest mother alive, but when I tell them this they cheer. They love it.                            Sometimes kids aren’t really complicated after all. They just want to feel loved and secure and the rest can fall into place. 

Another place I have a hard time bending my rules is when it comes to my health and fitness routine.

Some of them include: work out hard on the days you plan with no room for excuse. Eat the meals you planned and make sure you hit your macros each day. NO wine on the weekdays, no excuses. Drink 3 bottles of water per day. Eat paleo as much as possible. Stress over extra meals or unplanned desserts. Worry constantly when life throws a wrench in your plans and you can’t do any of this.

I learned a lot over the summer when we moved and I had to let go of a lot of rigidness. I tossed aside my macros and just ate intuitively. I worked out when I could, and tried not to worry when I couldn’t. While I know I feel better when I DO have a routine and can work out regularly and eat as healthy as I can, the world does not stop if I can’t.

My new health and wellness rules include trying my best. Being more flexible. I try my best to work out when I plan to and eat healthily as much as I can. Each day and each workout I do is a plus. Every healthy meal or smoothie or bottle of water is a plus. It means I am trying, and that’s all that matters.

Tell me, what rules could you modify to make your life better? Are you rigid and controlled like me, or do you give yourself more of a break?

 

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One of the things that I have been noticing lately that really bugs me about nutrition and my kids is how much JUNK is available to them. Each day at school my son comes home with 3-4 pieces of candy for doing well. Smarties, Tootsie rolls, gum, etc, he has a handful each day when he gets off the bus.  I have him bring it home each day, I ask that he not eat it, and we save it all in a bag for movie theater treats and such. I know he’d rather eat it right away (I mean, he’s eight and candy is LIFE), but I have different goals for him.

*I want to say, I am not blaming his teacher.  I have been in her shoes and it is fun rewarding the kids for doing well, but what does that teach them? Kids can be equally motivated with stickers or erasers. I get teaching is hard (been there), but there has got to be a better way to motivate and reward. We all do better when we know better.

I also have an issue with the availability of sno-cones and ice cream weekly for a fee, as well as the ability to buy a “snack” each day, that is often chips. I’ve noticed more and more that schools use food ands treats as a fundraiser and incentives. This isn’t an issue when it is a rare thing, but treats and such are available to them almost every single day, multiple times a day. The breakfast and lunch menus are balanced from a nutrition standpoint, but high sugar cereal bars and pop tarts are not really acceptable in my eyes for meals at school.

I also see this at soccer games when we all have a “snack” day. I mean, I hate the fact that kids run around for an hour and require a snack in the first place, BUT, why must we bring them Gatorade and cookies and equally unhealthy things? Teaching kids to fuel their bodies after activities with sugar and carbs is not the way. Mine knows to just hand the snacks to me if they are cookies and such, but I know this is hard. No one wants to say no or “not now” to fun treats, but this is life and staying away from some things most of the time is a good skill to have.

I am obviously health conscious and really enjoy living my best life from a nutrition and physical activity standpoint, and it is really important to me that my kids have a good foundation of knowledge so they can live their best lives. I want them to understand that what they put in their bodies matters. I’m not psycho about it, they have movie theater popcorn and ice cream and treats, but I always talk to them about choices. They can have an ice cream at school, but it is a choice that means they might not get a treat later on. Treats are just that, a treat, and they are only special and worthy of they are a little rare. I want them to just think before they eat. They know that their mama packs them healthy snacks and lunch for school and makes them smoothies in the morning so that their bodies will be fueled for the day. I have the knowledge to send them off for the day with good foods, but I know a lot of people just don’t. Again, we all do better when we know better, but for many, te knowledge about what is healthy or not is just not there.

(This post was inspired by a conversation I had with my cashier this morning when I checking out after grocery shopping. She was a 23-year-old pre diabetic and she mentioned how :”healthy” my stuff looked and we ended up chatting for 10 minutes or so about little things she can do to tweak her diet to help her out (she asked, I’d never lecture someone;)

My kids and I talk about the basics of how protein helps them grow strong, and how good fats help their brain think better, and that certain carbs are good for energy, and that too much sugar is not good for their growing bodies. They are 8 + 9 and both are so much more aware than I was until about 5 years ago! I never want them to think that much about it because they are KIDS, but they are old enough to look around and see that having a bag of chocolate chip cookies after an hour of soccer isn’t the best option, nor is eating candy at school necessary.

I truly think that having the knowledge that food fuels your body for what it needs to do is so important. Seeing kids walk around with soda and cookies and not having the ability to eat in a balanced way hurts me. I get that bad for you foods are cheaper and it is just easy to feed kids certain things (I mean, I buy hot dogs and mac and cheese, too…), but how can we teach kids to eat well if it isn’t at school or after sports? It truly starts with us, and the knowledge to know what is good and not good. Basic good nutrition should be available to everyone at all income levels. I know breakfast and lunch us FREE where we live, but why must free mean not good for you? Let’s teach our kids that what we fuel our bodies with is important.

Okay, rant over! What are YOUR thoughts on this issue? Do you see this where you live, too?

 

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Urban Outfitters dress; Sam Edelman sandals; Rebecca Minkoff bag

I’ve been a stay at home mom for almost ten years now (which sounds crazy!), and one of the weirdest thing about it is trying to justify my time and what I do all day. When my kids were babies and home full-time it was easy, but now that they are both in school full-time, it gets a bit harder. It can seem, indulgent maybe (?), to be able to stay home and care for a family that isn’t home with you the majority of the time. The truth is, I feel guilty sometimes because I technically have more time in my day to do things than others do. My main “job” is taking care of the kids and the house, but I also support us with my shampoo business, as well as bringing in minimal income with this blog.

My husband is in the military and we move often, so a lot of the time working in the field I’m educated in (teaching elementary ed as a reading specialist), is harder, as I have to be recertified in certain states. PLUS, I’m not even sure I WANT to teach anymore (which is another post for another time…) He also is away often, so me being home is the best answer for us now. I am the front line for the kids, and can be there for them in a second, which I love. What it comes down to is, my priority at this time is to be home for my kids and be available. This may change as they get older, but right now I don’t want to work outside the home as we go through the changes of moving. I also am trying to figure out “what I want to be when I grow up” (ha!), and it seems working from home/being and entrepeneur is where my heart is leading me.

But I digress.

Every night my husband asks me what I did that day (in a conversational way, no weird judgement), and often I have to think. I mean, my big answer can seem minute (the gym, errands, cleaning, etc), but the reality it, I did a ton. After a phone call with my sister-in-law, she texted me this list of a day as a stay at home mom:

Get myself up

Get the kids up

Feed them

Love them

Get them off to school

Workout

Laundry

Make our own food

Plan dinner

Shower

Pick up things

Do errands

Prep for dinner

Pick up kids

Sort through their paperwork and sign all the things

Feed them

Bring them to sports

Shower them

Help with homework

Help them with bedtime

Tuck them in.

Repeat.

Some of these things take less time than others, but it is often funny how a lot of little activities add up to a whole day of busyness. This doesn’t even include the time worrying over them, snuggling with them, planning things for them, or any of the real housework. I also didn’t add in this blog or my Monat work, I fit that in as needed.  I’m not the type to prove that I am busy (because I also have time to take a nap if I want to or go browse Target), but I guess in the end this list is for myself. To know deep inside that I have value as a stay at home mom. I may not work outside the home as I have in the past, but I bring value to my children and husband and I am so happy to do so.

I really love that I have the choice to do this. It is a huge privilege to say “I want to stay at home for my kids” and be able to do it. We planned this out long before they arrived and we both work hard to make it work logistically and financially. I know at some point I will go back to work in some way, but for now, now I’m MOM and WIFE and SHAMPOO SELLER and BLOGGER and that is enough.

 

Target tee; Abercrombie shorts; Sam Edelman sandals

Ever since our move and getting the kids started in school I’ve been wanting to get myself back on track, routine wise. Since I work from home it can be tricky to not waste time doing stuff that doesn’t add any value to my life or businesses (MUST I scroll Facebook 4,566 times?) I’ve read before how many powerful people in the world have iron clad morning routines, and that they also streamline their days to include only the important stuff that brings value. And while I know that sometimes days can and will be waisted being lazy or decompressing, I like to schedule at least the weekdays out so I accomplish all I need to do. PLUS, since I am my own boss, if I don’t figure it out, nobody will.

What I started doing is looking at my mornings to see what was working and what was not. My kids get on the bus by 7:15am, so that means we need to be up and motivated around here pretty early. None of us like to rush (it creates major chaos over here), so their alarms go off at 6:05 and 6:15am. Here is our morning and what it looks like!

Funny enough, my day starts the night before. I set out my planner and my to do list on the kitchen table, my outfit for the day is in my closet ready for me, and a huge glass of water is on my bathroom counter.

6:00am: My alarm goes off. I have never been a “snooze” person, so I get up and head into my bathroom. I brush my teeth first off and wash my face. Then I get dressed (everyday but Tuesday I put on workout clothes, on Tuesday I wear the outfit I set out.) I then drink my glass of water and put on my makeup (just the basics at this point.) I quickly learned that if I am dressed and ready before my kids, my day goes smoother. Then I can help them and troubleshoot getting them out the door, without rushing off to get myself ready!

6:10am: I head to the kitchen and make my coffee, then get their breakfast ready. I turn on Pandora to either Mumford, Ed Sheeran, Cool Jazz, or French Cafe. It makes the kitchen feel so calm!

6:15-6:40am: the kids eat breakfast and I drink my coffee and we hang out. I LOVE this time, we can wake up together and chat about the day and it is so peaceful for us. They typically talk the most here (and in the car, lol), so I value being able to listen to their thoughts and what is important to them.

6:40-7:00am: I make their cold lunches while they get dressed. (Before I figured out to geth dressed before they woke up, I dressed here and ran around and it was NUTS.)  I buy a bunch of premade stuff to put in their lunchboxes and it makes a big difference! Typically they get a sandwich, apple slices, fruit cups, raw almonds, greek yogurt, popcorn, etc. I then help my daughter with her hair while they are getting dressed. They both wear school uniforms, so it is really easy for them to just grab the pieces they need and put them on. (Though I tell them to get their shoes on 1 zillion times.)

7:05am: They grab their lunch and backpacks and make sure they have their things for school, and we head out the door. I walk them to the bustop in the morning and it is a pretty walk. It takes us about 5 minutes.

7:15-8:15: I’m home and I get my breakfast (usually a protein shake or a banana with cashew butter right now, the heat here makes me not that hungry!) I turn on a podcast (Toni Robbins, Gary Vee, MInd Pump) and do my social media posts for my blog page and my Monat business. I go over my goals for the day, do some gratitude stuff, write my affirmations,  and if I have time left I read a little of my personal development stuff. If it is Tuesday I head out to the grocery store (I make my list and plan the night before), and every other day I have an 8:15am Crossfit class.

That’s it! I’m typically back home by 9:30am ready to “start” my day business wise, but most of my personal goals are met before 9am, which makes me feel pretty productive, lol.

Tell me, how do you like to work? Are you a planner or a go with the flow type of person?

*This post is sponsored by Smile Brilliant! All opinions are my own. 

I’ve noticed over the years that my teeth haven’t been as white as I’d like them to be. Perhaps it’s the red wine and coffee? (#nevergivingthemup), but I notice it the most in pictures. I also have the dubious distinction of having to have had braces TWICE, once in adulthood, so I really would like to straightened teeth of mine to look DARN GOOD. And white! Blinding white! Celebrity white! All the white!

Ha.

But, I also have really sensitive teeth. As in I need a numbing gel to get my teeth cleaned at the dentist, I use sensitive toothpaste, and would die before biting into something really cold. And should I mention I don’t have the time or money needed for in office procedures?

 

Enter Smile Brilliant. I was totally intrigued by the idea that I would have custom-fitted trays that I could do at home ( I mean, I can barely schedule regular dentist appointments, much less go…) And I’m also a sucker for teeth whitening reviews….

Here’s how it works:

1)You get the kit and mix two types of molding putty together and squish it into your mouth with the trays they send you. It takes a couple of minutes and isn’t messy or gooey. You then send them in with a prepaid package.

2) You’ll then get your custom fitted trays back and you can begin whitening! You’ll get two types of syringe cartridges: one is the whitening gel and the other is the sensitivity gel you use after. A little goes a long way. You can start with using the whitening trays for anywhere from 45 minutes to 3 hours. I would start at the smallest amount and go up as need. I find 1 hour is good for me, as more time makes my teeth really sensitive for a day or so after, and I see good results after the hour. I also have done every other day when I need to when beginning, but you can do what you want time wise depending on what you have going on.

3) I typically whiten my teeth after I put my kids to bed and I am done eating. I clean my teeth and put the trays in and read. When my time is up I rinse the trays and then do the sensitivity gel for another 30 minutes. Again, you may feel sensitivity based on how your own teeth are. I can’t do more than an hour at a time, but you may be able to handle the 3 hours. This is a trial and error kind of thing! I tried more time and my teeth ached a bit after, then I tried less time and they were fine.

Now for the results! I saw results after a couple of uses, and got compliments after 3 uses. Which lets you know it is working! I typically use my custom-fitted trays about once a week now, and sometimes I miss a week, but I find the results stay. I also like that it is up to you how white you want to go. You use your own discretion about how much you want to use it and how white you want to be. (Also, can teeth be too white? Lol.)

Now for the giveaway! It will be open for a week and is eligible for U.S. residents only.

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

How Much Is Teeth Whitening

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This month I decided that every night before I went to bed that I would write ten things I was grateful for. And honestly? It’s been easy. Sometimes its small things, like the color of new leaves against a blue sky, or a good nap in the middle of the day. Often the smallest things are something to be grateful for, and I’m really enjoying taking the time to think about them throughout the day and storing them in my mind for later.

It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well, right? When life is cruising by and we are all healthy and happy. But what happens when things aren’t awesome? When people get sick and die, or children you know are diagnosed with horrifying ailments? I’ve known so many people who have lived through the unlivable and still get up each day and soldier on. These people are my heroes.

If you know me personally, you might have seen that we had to let our cat go on Monday. It was really hard to make that decision for her and on that morning I woke up dreading the day. She’s been our fur baby for fourteen years and despite the fact that she was ill and not doing well, we cherished her. Watching her die was so, so hard for me. The second the vet said, “her heart has stopped,” I just lost it. The finality of it was horrible. I’ve been heartbroken for days and I didn’t expect it to hit me this hard. I knew I loved her and knew this was the right thing to do, but the emptiness she left behind is palpable. My heart is broken.

But you know what? That night, laying in bed and making my list of ten things I saw the magic in it all. Some of the things I was grateful for:

Being able to pet her and lay my head next to her while she passed, telling her I loved her.

Getting texts from my mom all that morning and right after letting me know she was there for me.

Receiving a poem via text from a friend that made me smile (have you read the “rainbow bridge?”)

A picture my daughter drew for me at school about the cat going to heaven.

The stuffed kitty my son let me sleep with “so I wouldn’t get lonely”

I came up with ten things I could be grateful and happy about, even on a really hard and emotional day. It was actually easy to come up with them, too. So many ways I could think of how blessed I am and I believe, truly, that there is something to be grateful for no matter what. Even on dark days there is something beautiful to be grateful for.

I’ve always been a big believer in being positive and knowing that I am lucky to have what I have because there is always someone who would be thrilled to be in my shoes. I think knowing this and living it really cements the fact that if you have a grateful heart, good things will come to you.

Tell me, would you write down ten things to be grateful for each day for a month?