American Eagle cardigan (similar); Target dress, old (similar); Sam Edelman boots; ℅ Just Dawnelle floral crown.
I was reading through Glamour magazine the other day and came across this article where they polled men on what kind of bathing suits they find sexy. Not surprisingly, one pieces, tankini’s, anything too over styled, and high waisted bikini’s were the least sexy, where sporty bikinis a la Halle Berry in that James Bond movie rated the sexiest. It got me thinking, why is it so important to elicit a man’s opinion on what is sexy, and then dress according to that? I find it weird that there are women out there that would read this article and base their bathing suit (and clothing choices in general) on whether or not a man will find it sexy.
I’m not knocking wanting to look sexy here by any means. There are certain times when my outfit is based on wanting to look hot for my husband, and I get it. I do! Who doesn’t want to feel sexy and wanted by the opposite sex at some point in their lives? I think this notion of always wanting to look ‘hot’ for a man was more prevalent in my teens and twenties. There is an identity where you want to be seen as sexy and available and live up to the reality TV version of what a woman is supposed to be. When my husband and I were first dating I never would have worn something that I thought he wouldn’t have liked, because how he viewed me then was important, probably even more important than how I felt in something.
I feel different now.
While I’m not opposed to wearing something that will make his eyes light up, it isn’t my first thought while getting dressed. If I want to wear a pair of outrageously patterned pants, or try out that retro, high waisted bikini, I will. I know he doesn’t like that kind of stuff, but I really don’t care. He knows I like to wear things that are a little outside the box sometimes and he is okay with that. I enjoy making him laugh and we often joke around when I wear something I know he will comment on. (He has some pretty funny commentary sometimes, come to think of it.) I think having confidence and rocking what makes YOU comfortable is sexy. When a woman puts something on that makes her feel good, that is sexy to me. Wearing clothes that make me feel like myself is a confidence booster. I don’t need to look sexy 24/7, nor do I think all that much about what my husband will think when I’m getting dressed or buying something new. I would guess about 5% of my life is devoted to this notion of looking sexy (you know, date nights and vacations alone, and hmmmmm…;) The rest is about wearing what I like, what appeals to me, and makes my insides match my outside.
I’d like to think that women are so much more than that notion of, “will men think I’m sexy in this.” Maybe it’s about me getting a little but older, but making the switch from dressing for a man to dressing for me has been liberating. I’d like to think I’m more than that to him, too. We’ve matured enough as a couple to be comfortable enough to let our guards down in terms of how we perceive each other, and that is a comforting place to be. Sometimes I’m sexy, and sometimes I’m not, and that’s okay by me.
Tell me, do you care if you are seen as sexy or not?
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