℅ Lulu*s dress (option, option); Old Navy sandals; Rocksbox chevron necklace (use code becauseofjackiexoxo for a free month!)
Something happens to your heart when you watch people you love move away. It squeezes, and tightens, in fear maybe? Or loss? This moment of unbelievable realness, when the thing you have feared for months is here. This known moment that you knew was coming, has passed.
I’ve moved a lot in my married life, and before that as well. I’m well aware of the awesomeness of meeting those that you create lasting friendship and kinship, only to have it taken away. Over and over again. To live and survive next to one another in this crazy military life, where your friends are your family, where their children are your children, only to have it taken away. Over and over again. To have their name as your child’s emergency contact, to be the first phone call when help is needed, to battle together in all that life throws at you when the husbands are away and they are all you have. Only to have it taken away.
Over and over again.
To stand crying in a driveway, wishing that this moment was not really here. Or to watch them drive away for the last time. This is what it feels like to lose your person.
Living as a military wife is wonderful in so many ways, but it also rips your heart out. You bond with people in a way that is like no other because of distance and hardship, only to have this taken away from you move after move. You make friends each move knowing that you will leave them, and often never be physically near them again. This hurts. It forces you to accept a reality that never gets easier. This constant replanting of your life that becomes your new normal. Learning to live without those that make your days better.
Technology makes this better. You can instantly see someone via Face Time and follow them on Facebook, but it never replaces what you had. It’s a poor substitute that we have to endure, because it is what we have left. You see, these forever friends who are really your family, they take a piece of you with them. There is an investment in friendship, the memories you make and moments you laughed through, that means something. This can never be taken away, no matter the miles moved away, or years apart. I’m so grateful for all the amazing friends I have loved, and moved away from. These friends that I may never live near again, but still keep in touch with. Daily texts, emails, private messages, and phone calls.
People may move away, they pack up their homes and cars and drive away without you. You may go months or years without seeing them face to face. The days of carpooling and dinners out and siting on the sidelines of soccer will become a distant memory, but friendship, true enduring friendship, never fades.
Life moves on, we move and change and continue with life, but it is never the same. To lose your person is pain, especially when you know you will do it over and over again. Yet you would never give it up, the pain and loss of leaving each other and moving away, because without this life you would never have met. This crazy, unforgiving, unpredictable military life, it gave me my person twice and took her away again, yet I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Because friendship is family in my world, and nothing can change that.