I don’t even remember her name, but my first girl crush was in seventh grade. You know that girl, the one that appears to have everything you don’t? Maybe she’s skinnier, taller, has better hair, clothes, or a bigger house. Her parents let her do more, (or less.) She’s more athletic, has better teeth, and has a life that, in your eyes, just look so much better than yours.
I’ve had a lot of these crushes in my life. They’re not romantic in nature, but in my mind tend to evolve from a need to be something I am not. I’ll make up this back story in my head where this other girl’s life is magical and worry free (obviously.) Maybe her hair doesn’t have that weird frizzy/wavy/curly texture that mine does, or she didn’t get stretch makes from growing too fast in middle school (ugh!), or perhaps her teeth are more naturally white? Are there a million people out there that seem better, cooler, more put together, and just generally more awesome than me?
Probably.
As I’ve gotten older my girl crushes have diminished, but the jealous aspect of it all often reappears while scrolling through social media. I see someone who really seems to have it down, you know? The camera angles, the flat lay Instagram posts, the flowing hair that seems to magically grow and never be damaged, the new clothes and amazingly styled kids. Who are these people? Yet I’m drawn to these photos, these people that are nailing life from all outside appearances.
I read a quote the other day in Marie Claire from Girl Boss Sophia Amoruso, and it nailed this concept for me and made me realize how ridiculous this all is:
“You shouldn’t idolize anyone. And I’m telling you again, don’t idolize me. I don’t know shit. Neither do your parents. But if I can pull this off, so can you. Take that and run with it.”
I thought of this once, for every girl crush I’ve had on someone, envisioning this perfect life of theirs with no worry, someone may have had one on me. They’ve perhaps though the same thing, that my life seems MORE than theirs somehow. Which is nuts, but no more crazy than me thinking the same think about MY girl crushes. I think all of us are struggling, behind the perfect Facebook post and well styled family photoshoot, there is a mess of craziness and doubt that we aren’t showing.
I know my girl crushes won’t fade, but I hope that I can realize that all of us are unsure of life, hate something about ourselves, or are hiding something beneath a seemingly perfect veneer. All we can do is realize that we are all doing the best we can an any possible moment, and that we are perfectly unperfect just the way we are.
