Raising a Gentleman

My husband and I have been working the past couple of years to teach our son how to be a gentleman. My husband does the brunt of this teaching, mostly because he leads by example! He shows him how to open a door for a lady (his mother and sister), to always let a woman go in a door before him, as well as let a lady go first most of the time.

This is is hard lesson for a six year old, as his sense of “fairness” tells him that he should go first some of the time and he is not quite sure why he does these things for a lady. We explain it as this, “a gentleman always takes care of his lady.” Be it his mother, sister, future girlfriend or wife, it is a man’s job to take care of his woman. He will let her go first and hold her doors, walk on the outside of a sidewalk to protect her, and be there for her when she needs him. It is his job as a man to take care of the women in his life (even if he KNOWS she can take care of herself! Which she can, obviously, but let’s believe in chivalry for a hot minute here.) 

Yet, on the other side of this, we teach our daughter to take care of her gentleman as well. It is a cyclical thing, for all the nice things a man does for you, you return the favor because it brings you joy. A gentleman always takes care of his woman, and a woman always takes care of her man. They don’t keep score, or feel like they are dong more than the other, they do it because it makes them happy to be there for the other, always. 

I think this is a good metaphor for my marriage as well. I like helping my husband because making his life easier makes me happy, and I know it is the same for him. Sometimes I do a little more bending and serving, and other times he is the one to serve me and do things my way. He is a gentleman and takes his job seriously, and cares for me as I do for him. I hope our son (and daughter!) are the same way, knowing that taking care of their loved one someday and making sure they are serving them in the best way possible is the best goal to have. The cliched saying, ‘happy wife, happy life” is definitely true, but I always like to check in to see if he is happy, too. (Though I probably get my way more, ha!)