I was sitting in my kitchen this morning, swaddled in my oversized fleece robe and sipping a peppermint mocha flavored coffee. The room was dark except for the lights over the island, the scent of waffles and syrup fresh in the air. We sit like this, every morning before school, and they eat while I sip my coffee. It’s relatively quiet and calm, except for their chatter and my reminders to eat up so they can get dressed. Pandora is softly playing Christmas carols, and it is one of my favorite times of the day.
The other morning my daughter woke up a little late, and a lot cranky. Instead of eating she curled up on my lap and I rubbed her cheeks and held her until she felt like she had enough. You see, the first thing my daughter does when waking up is to come and give me a hug. She slings her arms around my waist and smashes her face into my stomach, breathing in deep. It relaxes her, this hug, and is something I really love. It got me thinking, about how a mom is often the safe place for their child, their calm in the storm of their day. I try to hug them a lot, and squeeze them tight and tell them I love them. I think they know how much I adore them, but I often underestimate their need for me.
There is something really wonderful about being the person that can make it all better. When they fall and barely get hurt, a kiss from me makes it better. When they are sad they like to cuddle up on my lap like babies, and then lay their heads on my chest. I run my hands through their hair and hold them tight and it makes them feel safe. Secure. I love being the person that does that for them. To get a hug from my daughter each morning as I come out of my room, blinking wearily and still wrapping my robe around myself…she holds me tight and breathes me in and goes “mmmmm.” Like I am her peace, her happiness. It melts my heart.
I love that my son has to sit on the same couch cushion as me and to always be touching. He wraps me in a cozy blanket and it makes him really happy if I am near. I love seeing them in a crowd and how their faces light up as they spot me. I love being there for them, always, and having the ability to make them feel safe and secure.
I am their safe haven, and they are mine.