I literally backpedaled through Instagram the other night when I was rapidly scrolling through to screenshot the quote that is the title of this post. In my eyes, it is EXACTLY what marriage is (and motherhood, too, really.)
You see, it is really easy to love someone on the big days. When you say “I Do”, watch them hold your newborn baby in the hospital, sit across a candlelit table on your anniversary, or on big days that require mushy cards and perhaps some flowers? Yet marriage is NOT just those days, not every single moment of it.
Marriage is more about loving someone all the time, even on the days when you don’t really like them all that much. You bite your lip when they snap at you because they woke up tired. You see they are having an off couple of days and you just try to be there while staying out of the way. It’s the moment they say something rude and ridiculous at 11:30 while arguing over a sick kid. You learn to take the good with the bad, overlooking their grumpy days and not so awesome communication skills. (This goes both ways in my home, we are equally to blame for all of the above!) I would say that 85% of the time my marriage is wonderful and I smile just thinking of it, and miss him like crazy when he leaves. I get excited to snuggle with him at night and go out on impromptu dates, and running errands with him by my side is the best. YET, we are two people who live together and have two kids. We run a home and have jobs and life isn’t a romantic fairytale. We both have off days where the person who gets the brunt of our bad mood is the one right in front of us. It’s not fair, or awesome, but it’s reality.
I love my husband even when I’m grumbling behind his back, or rolling my eyes at a comment he’s made, and he does the same. We aren’t perfect. I’ve learned to ignore the little things and save my words for the big stuff. I take care of him because it brings me joy to help him, whether I get acknowledgment or not. I know I’m not lovable all the time, but he loves me anyway. He’s loved me through lots of crazy moves and family drama and kids and various life changes. He loves me when I freak out over throw pillow placement on the couch, or when I’m mean about him “not reading my mind” about a grocery list, and when I’m cranky and lash out.
Marriage for me is a long distance event, I pace myself and know that the awesomely happy days far outweigh the days I want to smother him with a pillow. (No, really…)
On his worst day, when he can seem entirely unlovable and all seems hopeless, I love him through it. Because he is mine and I am his. Forever. Awe….;)