I was driving back from Costco and Hobby Lobby the other day listening to Rachel Hollis’ RISE podcast (as one does, ha), and she talked about one question you can ask yourself regularly that really jump starts feeling good about yourself. She kind of mentioned it in passing as it was in the context of a larger conversation, BUT it instantly struck me.
What do you do well?
I freakin’ love this. If you ask me on any given day what I am bad at? Man…I could give you a list. I bet you could, too. Most of us are intimately acquainted with our failures and weaknesses, but can you just as easily name what you are good at?
So I thought about it on the drive home and came up with a list, and I am telling you, it instantly boosted my mood. There many be many things I am not good at, but there are also a lot of things I am good at and I know the same is true for you. So here goes, the things I do well…
- I am a really good mom. It’s kind of built-in, I think, this connection I have with kids. It has been true my entire life and is the same with my own. I love raising mine, making sure they are happy and healthy and content, and helping them navigate all the tricky stuff. My goal is to get them to be fully functioning adults, which means I am basically equipping them to not need me. (Insert sobbing face…) Which is hard! My main priority is them, always, and if nothing ever comes from me in my lifetime, I hope at the end it can be said, “she was an exceptional mom.”
- I have an awesome internal drive to succeed. If I want something, I go out and do it, even if it is hard. My willpower is strong and I keep my word with myself if I set a goal. I love learning and working on bettering myself, and get up at 5am everyday to do so. (Except weekends lol.) I work out easily on the days I say I will no matter what, and I can easily make choices to be healthy with my eating and general health. I don’t struggle to set big goals and achieve them.
- I am a good writer. I love writing what is in my head and having my words and thoughts connect with others. When I am troubled or struggling, writing it out always helps me. I communicate better through writing than any other medium! Most often, I consider myself a writer, even though I do many different things with my blog and business, it always comes down to connecting to others through my writing.
- I am good at helping others. Part of my journey of self-help and all the personal reading I do with that is so I can either help myself or others that need it. I love finding bits of information that I think will resonate with others and either sharing that here, through my newsletter, or with my friends and family. If I can bless one person around me and make them feel better about themselves? That makes me feel like I have a life purpose beyond my immediate family. I think at some point I would entertain becoming a life coach, just because I think it would be amazing to be able to help others live their best life.
The point of this list is to not brag on myself, and I think the real issue here is that most of us are really reluctant to say anything good about ourselves. Typically if someone compliments me I will come up with about five things I am terrible at, and that in an of itself is awful. We need to own our strengths and think more about those than our weaknesses, right? I’d rather see those around me brag about their strengths rather than talk bad about themselves any day.
Now it is your turn! What are the things you do well? Push yourself to come up with a good list, perhaps 5-10 things. I knew immediately that I would put that I am a good mom as one thing, but I had to sit and think a bit about the others. Challenge yourself to come up with a few and then think more about those things, the things you are good at, and stop focusing on the things you are bad at. Promise?
P.S. One strategy that has really helped me is to find a picture of yourself as a little girl and tape it in a place you see daily (mine is on my fridge.) Every time you see that picture think about the good things you would say to her. You’d never say half the things you say to yourself now to this little precious girl in the picture, so why do it now?