I spoke last week about having an intentional word for 2020, and a list of goals, both big and small, for the New Year, versus big resolutions. My word for the year is ACTION, which basically means less procrastination and more doing this year. Its more or a mindset, really, and I am loving it. Each one of us in my family came up with a word and I love that we are all working on being more intentional with our own personal goals.
I also wrote a long list of things I want to do this year, ranging from 1) make a doctors appointment, 2) Go to a concert, 3) Run 1X a week, 4) Write more blog posts+ meany more. Just things I would like to do this year that I know I love and that I have been putting off. I’ll cross them off as I do them, some are a one and done thing, and some are ongoing. It feels good to get started!
You can read about how I create goals for the New Year HERE!
Something I have been working on when it comes to mindset is loving and appreciating what is when it comes to what I want more of in life.
Body image is a big one for me…
For instance, after a couple of weeks of lots of indulgence this holiday season, I have been feeling down about my physical self (like I am sure most of us are!) Couple this with the media’s intention of making us feel like THIS exercise program and THIS eating program will solve all of your problems, I have had a couple of days where I want to control all of the things in order to be who I want to be. Which is not healthy for me. I have a history of using control over eating and exercise to an unhealthy place (meaning I don’t feel “enough” if I don’t look a certain way), and I have been working hard over the past couple of years to heal this.
So what do we do?
1) Mind your thoughts! When I don’t feel “enough” my EGO tells me all sorts of things. It says I am not as skinny as I used to be, it tells me that I can change my workout program to look better, it tells me to control my food intake to look better, it tells me that my legs are too big, it tells me that I am getting fat. These are decades old programming and limiting beliefs that I am re-learning not to believe. But it takes time! When I have these thoughts ( a lot, you guys!), I have to recognize them and stop them. I am working really hard to never criticize my body. EVER. We are so accustomed to doing this and we don’t even notice. I’m just asking you to hear what you say to yourself and ask, “is this even true?”
2) Replace critical thoughts with affirmations. When I notice my brain spiraling into negativity, I mentally shout, STOP!, and say a positive affirmation. A few favorites…
I have a body. (This is the most neutral and your brain can’t fight this! You do indeed, have a body, and it is the easiest to start with.)
I am strong and fit and at my perfect weight. (I love this one because it reminds me that I am strong and fit and that I can do things that my “skinnier” self could not do. I’m not knocking my earlier self, either, just working on being happy with what I have now! I feel powerful when I say this! I also never weigh myself, so I remind myself that whatever weight I am at is my perfect weight.
I am enough. (This is true for so many limiting beliefs. I grew up thinking that I had to have the perfect body to feel enough, and it has taken me a long time to start taking away how my physical body looks from how I feel as a person. You are enough no matter what your body looks like.)
3) Be grateful! Start to feel gratitude for where you are now. When I start to go down the rabbithole of wishing I was a size smaller, or my legs were thinner, or that I am getting fat (my mind can be a cruel place!), I have been replacing it with gratitude. Start my sitting in a quiet place, close your eyes and take a couple of deep cleansing breaths. Then I want you to start at your feet and be grateful for every body part from your feet to your head. For instance,
I am grateful for my feet, because they helped me run a half marathon. I am grateful for my strong thighs, because they help me do box jumps at the gym. I am grateful for my arms, because they get to hold my children. I am grateful for my loose skin on my stomach, because it streched around two babies. I am grateful for my lungs, because they breathe without me thinking. I am grateful for my fingers, because they help me write these blog posts.
Take your body apart piece by piece and find something to be grateful about. We are more than a body to appreciate in a bathing suit or a pair of skinny jeans! We are functional and amazing and a lot of hat we have is something we take for granted.
4) Accept who you are AS IS. There is nothing wrong with you as you are now, you are loveable and ENOUGH as is! This doesn’t mean that you can’t work towards being a different size or work on being healtheir, but you will never hate yourself into being skinnier or a different size.
The key is to be grateful for who you are, to feel ENOUGH as you are, and then to envision your ideal self and show up as if you are her. Because you are! She is there inside you right now, and she is just ready to be loved into existence.
I hope this helps, my friends. I am working on this daily right beside you, and I am here if you need me.
P.S. You can find more affirmations for when life is A LOT HERE!