So I watched the Taylor Swift documentary last week, and can I say it has changed me? I felt everything she has gone through, as a young girl and woman, and the pressures we get to be a certain way. To be liked, to have the approval of others. It made me think hard about the standards we hold ourselves, and other to.
To be perfect.
To do things that WE think is right, and others should, too.
To be smaller, smaller, never let our bodies show age or life changes.
We aren’t meant to starve ourselves. To live only for the approval of others. To dim our lives and personality so a select few feel better.
We aren’t meant to fit into mold’s, but we spent a lifetime trying to. We worry aout what others will think, we care about every opinion but our own.
When was the last time you thought, “what do I want?” “What would make me feel good today?” If no one was watching and social media didn’t exist, would you care about half the stuff you do?
It makes me think of my own story, how many years I put myself aside to make others more comfortable. I cared about everyone else’s opinion but my own. I created anxiety and disordered eating and perfectionism and people pleasing so I could be what I was supposed to be, but it didn’t work. It didn’t make me happy. It just caused more anxiety and worry and illness. It took me away from myself and turned me into who I SHOULD be. The mass market version of myself that is palatable for society. It tuned me into a shell of myself that I didn’t even connect with.
What happens when you do everything “right,” and it feels hollow? When you avoid the feeling inside that you are meant for more?
I don’t have all the answers yet, I suspect it will take me a lifetime, but I do know the first step is caring less about what society tells you is the right thing and tuning into what YOU want. What lights YOU up. It’s there, we just need to dig it out. šš»
