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Meagan Rigney

3 things to think about this week// February 28th

March 1, 2021      Leave a Comment

I can’t believe it is the end of February already. This month tends to fly by for me with my daugther’s b-day on the 20th and all that leads up to it. She is VERY into her birthday and talks about it for months and I swear it turns into a THING, but she had a great day and she was very excited to turn 13. (SHE ALSO GETS THE LOVE OF BIRTHDAYS FROM ME LOL.)

I feel like I am coming out of a funk that has lasted me for a few weeks. It’s a combination of anxiety about her bday (I want to be perfect and special) and feeling overwhelmed, as well as it being winter and dreary, and just life in general this past year. I talked to my therapist about it all this past week and that was great, I’ll share more below on that. I am looking forward to my kids both going to school full time, in person this upcoming week. It has been a year of either full time at home learning and a few hybrid weeks here and there (in October and February.) I think it will be the start of a new normal and I am looking forward to being home with no one else there so I can paint and write and get my work done ALONE!! What does that even feel like? LOL

Let’s get started on 3 things to think about this week!

1) After a few weeks of being ‘off,” I got to chat to my therapist about how I was feeling and how to combat it. I get really overwhelmed trying to make things ‘perfect’ in my home and in my life, and the process of trying to control that is pretty overwhelming. I then get really dizzy and it feels terrible and like I can do nothing, with stresses me out. I then feel like everything is really important and I can’t rest until it is done. At one point I was near tears hanging up birthday balloons at midnight. They kept falling and I was so tired, yet I knew that I should do it the next day but couldn’t. My biggest feelings with anxiety is being very overwhelmed and just frantically trying to do a bunch of things that go wrong. 

It’s fun;) 

So she mentioned maybe, just maybe, I can find ways to lower the bar for myself, and take things off my list? Which sounds simple, but in the moment I see no way out. I’m trying to push through. I am working on that! On letting things go that feel impossible, but won’t hurt anything. I don’t have to actually DO all the things my brain tells me to, just so I can ‘deserve’ rest. It snowballs and then I am not resting and near tears and a mess. Each day I am looking at my list and asking, ‘does this have to happen right now?” Can I do it later, or never? I’m really trying to narrow down list and lower my standards. My personal standards, I am finding, are really freakishly high and they can harm me more than help me. On one hand, it is my Achiever personality (type 3 Enneagram!) that helps me be successful and get things done, but only in balance. I am learning to walk that line. I can be an all or nothing person, and I need to be more in the middle. 

Do you have high standards for yourself? DO you think they help or hurt you? DO you get anxious or overwhelmed?

2) One simple brain trick I have been using lately that has helped me has been asking, “What if it all works out?” I’ve talked about using mantras and affirmations for self love and body confidence, but when it comes to other areas of my life I have been slacking. Which has led to my thoughts spiraling and basically crying over birthday ballons. What we think and say to ourselves matters! I find a day or two of runaway thoughts can really derail me. It starts in one area of my life and snowballs from there. Suddenly, I am forgetting all my affirmations and believing all the negative thoughts. Some of my favorites:

All is well.

Everything is always working out for me.

I am healthy and free of illness.

My body heals itself.

And when my mind goes crazy with worry, ‘What if it all works out?’

The first step is noticing when your are feeling a certain way and replacing the thought with a better feeling one. I know I talk about this a lot, but it is the number one way to help your mental health and is what my therapist suggest using first. 

3) On another note, I was listening to Jenna’s podcast the other day and it reminded me how much I love Carol Tuttle’s books. I have a few of hers in hard copy, and have read her Child Whisperer book many times on my Kindle (it is free with Kindle Unlimited!) She basically breaks people down by energy types (you can take the super quick test HERE) and then you can learn about the types in this book and how to parent each type in her Child Whisperer book. It is so helpful if you can ‘type’ the people in your family to better understand them. Basically we are all the types, but we will have a strong dominant one and the a secondary one. I am a Type 1 with Type 2 tendencies. I had everyone in my house take it, too. My husband and son are both Type 2’s and my daughter is a Type 3 with Type 4 tendencies. 

I love these because it helps you learn how to love the peope around you better, and understand their deeper needs. If you have kids, and more than one, you can easily see that you can really parent them they same. Both of mine need very different things and I parent them pretty differently. Anyway, it is interesting to read about and very eye opening!

If you take the test, let me know what you get! Do you think it fits you? Hit reply and let me know!

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Hi, friend! My name is Meagan and I like to overshare on Insta-stories, LOVE finding the best stuff for everyday life, and I truly believe that life is more fun when you feel good about yourself, both inside and out.

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Life lately! Last days of school, visiting the nei Life lately! Last days of school, visiting the neighborhood pool, library hauls, lunch dates, Amazon bathing suits, so many good things! I’m so ready for summer break with the kids since we aren’t moving or renovating a house. 🙃
What’s good for you right now?!
Give me a simple white dress for summer and I will Give me a simple white dress for summer and I will wear it as many days as I can. This one is light and airy and looks cute on its own or under a denim jacket for cooler temps. I’m in love 😍
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Shop this outfit via the link in my profile or the Shop My Instagram page on meaganrigney.com
A few pieces I have painted lately, and added to m A few pieces I have painted lately, and added to my shop! I love the shades of pink and adding all sorts of dots, dashes, and drips. I'm going to start a new series soon, maybe with some abstract flowers?! Sometimes I just grab a paintbrush and see what will happen. 🤷🏻‍♀️
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I am also sending out a series I did in blues for a friend, I will share those in another post (I'm obsessed with how they turned out!) If you have an idea for a custom size, series, or even a color palette, you can message me on Etsy and we can figure out how to make it happen (link to shop is in my bio, or visit MeaganRigneyCreates)😃
Okay so I’ve ordered and tried on approx. 1 mill Okay so I’ve ordered and tried on approx. 1 million bathing suits this month to find a few that make me feel amazing, and I’ve found some! 👏🏻👏🏻 I’ve shared some before in stories and posts, but I also wrote a blog post (live right now) with the hits and misses, details on sizing, and what I loved and hated about a few popular styles. You can find my blog via the link in my profile or head to meaganrigney.com 
P.S. I’ve been blogging for ten years now, which sounds crazy?! But cool? Since before Insta was invented if that ages me 🥴
Two years ago I said I would NEVER EVER EVER wear Two years ago I said I would NEVER EVER EVER wear bike shorts, and now here I am, eating my own words. 
I bought a "starter pack" of 3 black pairs off of Amazon and now I'm not taking them off. I am a sucker for comfort and ease and this just works for me. Add in a delicious, oversized tee and can I just sleep in this and wear all day lol. 

What piece of clothing did you say you'd never wear, and have?

*shop this look via my Shop My Instagram (link in profile)
I like to hibernate at home. Like a recharge, I ne I like to hibernate at home. Like a recharge, I need to be alone among my own things to fill my cup up. 
I felt bad about this forever. Why couldn't I be as busy as others without feeling like I would break down? Why do lots of plans leave me feeling anxious and overwhelmed? I'd try to push through, to be the person (friend/mother/wife) that I thought I had to be. To be the mom that did all the things with a smile. Then I realized, I needed boundaries. I wasn't helping anyone if I did too much or over scheduled myself. I'd end up being the worst version of myself, losing sleep and getting worked up over small things. I realized that I had to protect myself, even if others might think it was weird, or worse, think I was lazy. Part of it is being a stay at home mom and working from home. Technically I am almost always around, but I don't need to be always available. Just because I can be on the PTA doesn't mean I want to, or go to all the field trips, or sign up for all the activities. My strengths lie elsewhere.  I can serve in the way that suits me and not what I think I should be doing. 
A couple of years ago I hit a wall, and since then I have been learning to listen to my body and the signals it gives when I am ignoring my basic needs. I've learned that I can have about 2 busy days and then after that I fall apart. I have two kids in sports and school and a husband with a weird schedule. I am BUSY (I kinda hate that word!), but my boundaries lie in them, and in myself. I can juggle the important things and let the rest fall. And I am important, too! Which took me a long time to realize. I have to prioritize myself and my mental well being. This might look different than others and that is okay. I can't compare my life to another, especially on the internet, and neither should you. So I rest, and recharge. I hibernate and ignore calls and texts. I say no to a lot (A LOT.) And it makes me feel whole and like my true self when I do this.
I ordered a few swimsuits from Amazon last week af I ordered a few swimsuits from Amazon last week after trying on a few of my old ones and not loving the fit. I was pleasantly surprised by these and ended up ordering a few more (because I like options!) I’m wearing a size large in all of them, for reference. I’ll detail the fit and feel of all of them in stories today. 
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Which is your fave? 👙
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*shop these suits via my Shop My Instagram page via the link in my profile, or head to www.meaganrigney.com ✌🏻
Last week I ordered this 'one size' tee and then w Last week I ordered this 'one size' tee and then when it came it looked ridiculously big, so I was going to send it back. Then... I slipped it on...and it was still very oversized, but in the best way possible! I feel free, damn it! Nothing is touching my body! This is living, yes? 
Add in leggings (and maybe even some bike shorts, which I said I would NEVER wear but I love eating my own words lol.) 
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Also, these sandals are scented. Yes, I said scented. Why? I dunno. But they smell like a Cabbage Patch dolls head and I am weirdly here for it. I also love how they fit and feel as I am unwilling to wear complicated shoes right now and if you put an animal print on it I will buy it. 
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P.S. Did you have a Cabbage patch doll growing up? I kinda wish I still had one....
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*Shop this outfit via the Shop My Instagram link in my bio or head to www.meaganrigney.com
All of a sudden my babies are almost as tall as me All of a sudden my babies are almost as tall as me and are the ages I remember myself being vividly in my head. 🤯
Time is weird. When they were both under five it felt like each day was a lifetime. Babies and toddlers are time intensive and exhausting and it takes immense effort to do daily things. 
And then one day it gets easier. 
Everyone can put their own shoes on and buckle themselves in the car. You can go on vacations and not need a million things. The first time we went to Disney and just *walked in, with no massive stroller or diaper bag? My husband and I kept looking at each other like, "wait, this is easy now?" 
I'm not saying I didn't enjoy when they were smaller, I'd take a day back with them as squishy babies right now, but THIS, this is good. They are fun, and funny, and sarcastic, and life is just good at this age. I always want to freeze time, but I'd love to do it right now. It's a good balance of them needing me and not, of them home on weekends and thinking I'm still a little bit cool. 
Anyway! Here's a photo dump of a chilly afternoon spent together on Mother's Day, a good mix of skipping rocks, sipping Chai tea, and sitting in a winter coat in May watching flag football. 
How was your weekend?
I was waiting in the middle school parking lot pic I was waiting in the middle school parking lot picking up my daughter from track practice one afternoon, and it got me thinking. As I watched practice for a bit, I was instantly transported to myself at that age. 
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I remember being a teenager and looking at magazines and a lot of the friends I knew and I never felt good enough. I always felt my body was lacking, it didn't look like what I thought it should, and I didn't wear the clothes that I thought the "cool girl" wore. Back in the early 90's the desired shape was very, very thin, with no curves. Think Kate Moss in those Calvin Klein ads. Here I was, with breasts and hips, stretch marks and thick thighs. I couldn't wear the bikinis that were advertised or the tiny strap tops. My body felt foreign and wrong to me, until I was in college and learned a million ways to make myself smaller, so small that I could forget that awkward version of myself. I fell for diet culture again and again, all the way onto my late 30's. 
For years I punished myself, eating very little, and congratulating myself on my amazing willpower. Look at me, I can be skinny! And barely eat! I can do what I had always wanted to do as a young teen, become the tiny person in the magazine. 
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Except, there was always more to do. I could never relax, or my anxiety would kick in and I'd feel out of control. The second I was out of my routine, my sense of self felt at risk. I couldn't let myself go back to my former self, because she had felt sad and lonely and never enough. 
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It's funny how just being a mom of a kid that age really lets me go back. I see what I needed and I pour it into myself first, and then my kids. I want the girl I was to know that there was (and isn't) anything wrong with her. She was enough, and IS enough, and what her body looks like is the least interesting thing about her.
This week it hit 80 degrees, so I pulled out a kim This week it hit 80 degrees, so I pulled out a kimono I had just bought, dug my sandals out of the back of my closet, and instantly felt like myself. 
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If you've followed me for a second, you know I'm a sucker for kimonos. I've owned a ton over the years and I've rarely come across one I don't like. I think it's because I feel the most like myself in them? When the weather gets warm I love feeling like a boho goddess and flowing floral fabric does that for me. (Until the sleeve catches on a doorknob lol) 
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And also...this past year. Do I need to say it? It's been a YEAR. I've worn more sweatpants and leggings than I ever have, and now Spring is here and the world is beginning to bloom again + I feel like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis. THIS is the happy version of me, dressed up  a bit more than I need to as I work from home, feeling the warm breeze on my face, and dreaming of months ahead with friends and family. 
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Shop this outfit via the link in my profile (click on Shop My Instagram) or head right to my blog at www.meaganrigney.com
A couple weeks ago I went to the doctor, and as al A couple weeks ago I went to the doctor, and as always, I step on the scale backwards and ask them not to tell me the number. I have done this a million times and it works. Weight and tracking anything food related is not good for me, and before this year I didn't know my weight for about 5-6 years. It was great! 
Anyway, as I'm leaving the doctor she hands me a bunch of papers with a prescription, explanation of TMJ, and as I looked through them my weight was listed on one paper in HUGE FREAKIN FONT. I couldn't NOT see it, basically. I saw that number and my first thought was, " How interesting." 
The number was more than I thought it would be, but other than that, it was just a number. Since I don't know my weight at any other time before that I don't have a context really of how much weight I have gained in the past year. Which is freeing, honestly. I know I have gained weight, my pants size has changed. I've also gained a lot of perspective about diet culture + size and what it really means to "let yourself go." I'm not saying I haven't been uncomfortable with the changes I have seen and felt in my physical self, I'm just learning to not let it define me. That number I saw is a number, that will fluctuate as it always has. It will go up, and down, it will never be static. It isn't meant to. We aren't meant to stay the same our whole lives, and if you have lived a bit you have already seen this. I searched my whole life to find true inner happiness  and forever thought it meant if I LOOKED a certain way I could FEEL a certain way on the inside. It never happened. It took a health crisis, therapy, inner work, and research to discover that what I was looking for was inside. It was already there. I was worthy at all weights and sizes, in all situations. I didn't have to be perfect to be loved, to please others to be loved, to be strong to be loved. I could give this to myself, just for being. For existing. 
Whatever you weigh, you are enough.
I was trying on a pair of bike shorts the other da I was trying on a pair of bike shorts the other day (which I said I'd NEVER do, but life is funny like that!) I pulled up those buttery soft wonders and the first thing I noticed was my wrinkly knees. I almost said, "I can't wear these, people will notice." They'll notice the wrinkles and extra weight and cellulite and all these things we all worry about. Mostly because we are inundated with airbrushed and edited people all day/everyday and it is hard sometimes to see ourselves without a filter and be okay with it. *Which is why I do filter free Friday in stories and work hard to show reality as I know it. 
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Then I remember how I wouldn't wear shorts in my early 20's (while living in Miami) because I was super self conscious of my legs. I wouldn't wear them at the gym in my 30's because the mirrors would stare back at me and show me all my insecurities. I never wanted other people to see I wasn't perfect, because that hit me where I was vulnerable. If I could pretend I was perfect, and hide the real stuff, my self worth was okay. If I exposed it, I would be "less than." 
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I'm making it my mission this Summer to wear the things I want to, and share how it often makes me uncomfortable. I want to share the things that society says are wrong (wrinkles, cellulite, skin that moves and folds,) I want to share this stuff for the women and girls who are watching and might feel a little bit better by watching. 
This is why I do this. Showing up here for free and sharing my insecurities + struggles. I show up for the person I was at 14, 24, 34.  If I share a real body moving and living and enjoying life, maybe she can, too. I'm going to wear the bike shorts and bathing suits and shorts. I am going to show up for myself in this life and I hope to inspire you to as well. I have a 13 year old daughter and my biggest wish for her is that she can wake up and wear what makes her happy. We deserve it.
Tell me your favorite way to pose for the camera w Tell me your favorite way to pose for the camera without telling me your favorite way to pose. 🙃🙃🙃✌🏻
The last gel manicure I got! I love creating a Pin The last gel manicure I got! I love creating a Pinterest board full of nail art ideas and then bringing them into my nail guy (Tony!) to recreate. This one was simple and fun and made me smile each time I looked down at my nails. 
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I'm @meagan_rigney on Pinterest!
This picture is NOT an accurate representation of This picture is NOT an accurate representation of my last week (swipe to see reality.)
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You guys, it's been a WEEK. Last Monday-ish I started getting some tooth and jaw pain, which had been going on for a few weeks and then really escalated. To the point where it became unbearable and the worst pain I've ever felt. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and this took me to my knees. 
I went to the doctor thinking I had an ear infection (?) and she diagnosed TMJ (turns out I can be an anxious and tense person lol.) Then I went to the dentist and was referred to an Endodontics doctor for a root canal (my first.) I got a laser treatment on my jaw that I thought sounded ridiculous, but ended up loosening up my jaw and relieving a lot of that pain, and then got a root canal on Friday. (I also had nitrous for that procedure and they gave me so much that I feel like I fell into a time/space continuum? I mean, I swear I left my body and EXPERIENCED THINGS.✌🏻)
AnYwAy....after that was done and my teeth calmed down a bit, I started to gradually feel relief from the pain. I still have to chew carefully and get a crown put on, but MAN, there is nothing like a health issue to make you grateful for being pain free. I am so grateful to not be tied down to a heating pad and unable to function, that was awful.
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Thank you to everyone that sent well wishes and good vibes via my DM's, you guys are the best and I am so grateful for this community here. It can feel so isolating sometimes creating content and writing and talking to my phone, and you all showed up for me and gave me strength. I heart you. ❤️
For Spring break last week we went to Chicago for For Spring break last week we went to Chicago for a few days! 
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It felt so good to DO something again, to experience new things and even do simple things we took for granted like go out to eat + stay in a hotel. (It felt very safe with masking and social distancing and all the things that are pretty normal in our world right now;)
We went to the Art Institute and I took about 5,578 pics of inspiring artwork (art museums are my happy place,) and ate some really delicious food. We also went back to the Museum of Science and Industry and found that most of its exhibits were closed (understandably,) which we were disappointed with. 
Seriously though, we were just grateful to BE SOMEWHERE! I felt invigorated and grateful and hopeful all at once. 
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I also forgot how much I love Chicago and how much I have missed Lake Michigan and I am just so happy to be living near it all again. 
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Have you travelled lately?
I bought these shorts yesterday from Target, one s I bought these shorts yesterday from Target, one size up from my normal size (how I typically order shorts.) As you can see, they don't even come close to fitting me. I couldn't button even 1 of the buttons, never mind all of them. So I stripped them off + added them back into the bag to be returned. 
I want to take this opportunity to share how sizing is really, really subjective. I currently fit into 3 different sizes for pants, some from the same brands. Depending on where I buy from and how I want things to fit I can either be a size down or two sizes up from what I normally wear. Here's the deal, you DESERVE to be comfortable in your clothes. You DESERVE to feel good in what you are wearing. For a long time I got hung up on size and weight, I felt it defined me and my worth. I used to be terrified to go up a size and did a lot of unhealthy things to avoid that. 
I just want you to know this: your weight and size is the LEAST interesting thing about you! You are worthy and enough no matter what the world and diet culture has taught you. It is okay to go up a size or a lot of sizes. It's okay to wear things that fit you right now, even if it isn't where you want to end up. I know I instantly feel better when I am wearing something that fits me versus something that is too tight (which most of my clothes from a year ago are.)
Also, the clothing industry basically makes up sizes. They are ridiculous and if you ever hold up clothes that are the same size yet vastly different you will see. Clothes are meant to fit you, not the other way around. 
These shorts didn't fit me and that's okay. I have other ones that do, and if those don't fit me at some point I can buy more (which is a privilege.) 
Let's not let size, weight, or crappy indicators like the BMI index define how we should feel each day. I want to know, how do you want to FEEL? Me👉🏻Strong, capable, happy + a bunch of other words that aren't about my looks.
When I was in high school (back in the late 1900's When I was in high school (back in the late 1900's 🙃) we had to pick a 'major,' something to guide us towards picking a career someday. This major would work similar to a college one, you take a bunch of classes in the area you chose and spend 4 years expanding on that. I chose art as my major, and during my high school years I got to take a wide variety of art classes. I did ceramics, drawing, oil painting, and a ton of other fun and creative things. I learned how to stretch canvases to paint on and loved the smell of turpentine. I can still smell the unique scent of an art eraser and see my hand coated with charcoal after a class. Creating art was always truly fun for me, something I looked forward to daily. 
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Yet, when I went to college I chose Business as my major. It seemed more practical, right? Art was for fun and Business was more realistic. I took accounting and economics and dutifully got that degree. Life happened, I married a guy in the military and I decided to get a Masters in teaching so I could easily transfer a job from place to place. We had kids and I stayed home with them, started a fashion blog and funneled all my creativity into that (which I loved.) I'm always drawn to pretty things, whether its a gorgeous sweater, a painting in a museum, or the way the light comes in my window in the afternoon. 
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Not that long ago I picked up a paint brush for the first time in a  long time, and it all came rushing back. Creating things for fun, remembering my passion for drawing and painting and taking the time to create pretty things just because. I bought a canvas and decided to paint something for me, something I could hang in my office and enjoy. Layer by layer, I added color and texture, used brushes and wedges and often my own fingers to make something that brought me joy. It's messy and colorful, whimsical and abstract. It makes me happy to look at it and to know that I have reclaimed a piece of myself.
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